Drunk in a Grocery Store

[Croat]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee and
a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."

[mandala]

I don't know...I've seen alot of ugly married women (and men) in my day.

[Dancing Bear]

It tickled me.

[dragonspell]

I ONCE WALKED INTO A HARDWARE STORE TO FETCH SOME ITEMS FOR MY BOYFRIEND, HE DIDN'T THINK I COULD GET THE RIGHT STUFF, MY LEVEL OF SLEEP DEP WAS HIGH ENOUGH FOR MILD HALLUCINATIONS AND ALL DAY THINGS WERE WEIRD, I WALKED IN AND HALFWAY TO THE BACK I SAW WHAT I NEEDED BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THE SIZE SO I PACED BACK AND FORTH UP AND DOWN THE CENTER ISLE TRYING TO REMEMBER AND MY 3RD TIME I WAS APPROACHED BY A MAN IN HIS 60'S . HE GENTLY TOOK MY ARM AND GUIDED ME TOWARD THE DOOR AND SAID VERY KINDLY I MIGHT ADD," DARLIN' THE MARKET IS NEXT DOOR TO THE LEFT." I WAS GONNA LOSE IT SO I SAID WITH A SURPRISED LOOK ON MY FACE," OH THANK YOU SIR, I COULDN'T FIND THE JUICE ISLE, I WAS SO CONFUSED," AND HE SMILED AND TOLD ME IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME A LADY HAD WONDERED IN THERE BY ACCIDENT. I WALKED OUTSIDE AND MY BOYFRIEND SAID I TOLD YOU SO. HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT THAT MAN HAD SAID TO ME . WHEN I TOLD HIM WE LAUGHED SO HARD AND LONG OUTSIDE THAT STORE, PEOPLE INSIDE STARED AND DIDN'T MOVE FROM THE WINDOW

[Dancing Bear]