Post by Dancing Bear on Oct 5, 2006 5:25:19 GMT -5
Subject: Women will understand
Estrogen, Pregnancy and Women
PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby
move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a
baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that
sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an
air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery
room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife
begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you
say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every
bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting
practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer
space."
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger
than SuperPlus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you
crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it
yesterday.
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cat's facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different
colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best
time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream,
off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
Estrogen, Pregnancy and Women
PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby
move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a
baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that
sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an
air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery
room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife
begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you
say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every
bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting
practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer
space."
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger
than SuperPlus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you
crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it
yesterday.
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cat's facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different
colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best
time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream,
off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
