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Post by hummingbird on Jun 26, 2015 13:24:39 GMT -5
Something that has been happening increasingly lately, although it has been happening since a very young age, is the thought that I am not me.
Quite hard to explain but I'm intrigued as to whether anyone else ever has these kind of thoughts or feelings.
For example, Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't feel the person Looking back is me. I don't feel this is a 'getting older' type thing. More of a feeling of not belonging.
Think It's important to add, I am happy and I enjoy-love the life I have, as well as everyone in it.
Sometime's I also think it's great to be human, there are so many beautiful things to see, nature in all it's forms from simple things like long grass blowing in the wind to thunderstorms and tornados. I get this feeling daily where I am greatful to experience these things as a human..almost as though I have not always been human, which is kind of odd to think about. But on the opposite end of the spectrum I sometimes get the feelings and thoughts of disliking being human because of all the bad things we experience, especially bad things in other humans.
I often have the feeling that this life is just temporary, as much as I love it, I know it's not forever. This does not frighten me, it actually excites me, especially when I have those feelings of being fed up of being human. I may sound a bit crazy but hey, I don't care haha.
It's hard for me to feel at home anywhere, even in my own home. It's not peaceful, there are a few places on earth I do feel peace, mainly in forests. I feel safe. I sometimes find myself thinking "I want to go home", without actually knowing where 'home' is.
On top of not feeling like I am me is the fact that I dislike a majority of people. I do see the good in every one and people do fascinate me to some degree but I find once I have figured the puzzle of some people out I tend to find them annoying & I am unable to spend a long amount of time with any human really. I do love my family, friends and I can easily love some others but I often find it's a love hate thing.
I'd like to point out that I am happy with who I am, where I am, my self image I am fine with. I guess it's just a disconnection feeling. A not belonging that often resurfaces and catches me off guard.
Any thoughts on this, or even if you feel the same at times then feel free to share 
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Post by *Dancing Bear (DB)* on Jun 26, 2015 18:46:58 GMT -5
OOO Yes!! me too!! I have always thought i haven't belonged in this cumbersome body. Even the way i look is not right..'I am meant to have darker skin, finer features, and definitely taller LOL!! That ones a wish  I am never at home anywhere. I have always been at peace when someone passes over, because i have always known they have gone home. I remember waking from a dream once, I had been talking to my Bill and Teeka in my dream..They had been talking to me about home.. I was really excited and couldn't wait to get back home. I woke and thought "Um not yet!" Don't get too excited Donna LOL!! I totally enjoy being alive and love life, and find anything amusing and am in Awe of it all majority of the time and i do believe i will be here for a very long time. But Where is Home? Australia is not my home, even though i was born here, my heritage is English, Scottish and French. I was first born here.. so all of my ancestors were all born elsewhere. I have a massive draw to France.. The Arts, the Country side, The Language, The history, The Theatre, The Belle Epoque era to be precise. I am only ever at peace when i am drawing and Painting. I "Need" to paint, I "Need" to create.. My soul dies if i do not. It is how i keep my well being healthy. another part of my "Needs" Is to help, either via mediumship or hopefully in the social working role i am aiming for with my degree.. I must help, its not all about me. I am here to serve not only myself bu others.. that is a massive inbuilt need!! I definitely need darker skin.. even though i am quite dark already , I am meant to be darker. I have felt this even as a child. More Indian dark or even a Italian. I do get mistaken for Italian. I am nearly 50 and am only just getting use to what i see. Funny as that sounds. Maybe the next life i will feel like i should be what i have now LOL! Maybe this is why our connections to our previous lives, and our connection to the spirit world (Home) is so strong?? Maybe because we "know" we are a soul with a human experience, its a deep knowing/feeling, rather than just parroting a saying. This is maybe why we have a disconnection to our human existence and its surrounds? |
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Post by somnium on Jun 29, 2015 1:18:50 GMT -5
I remember once while looking in the mirror I realized that everything was alive and everything was God. I was podnering how even my reflection was a life of its own and then it stuck out its tongue for me!! I have also gazed at other people being myself in the reflection even with different clothes on and everything. That one scared me a lil and made me run away from my reflection. Even the glass seemed to disappear and leave the space between me and the other man in my reflection. There is an ancient Shamanic ritual that entails using a mirror and some water, (fluidity) to create a open portal to another universe. Shamans would draw allies to themselves and watch as these other worldly beings enterred into the reflection and moved on their own, then entering into the world with the Shaman and working together for whatever means the Shaman has in mind. I know you mean something else but still it reminded me of that. When you perceive the world, or your reflection as something fluid and can change, or has life of its own then that is what you activate.
ANother thing your post reminds me of are Star Children. People who claim they come form the origins of the Stars and different star systems that are incarnated here on Earth. These people always have advanced abilities and are often telepathic and magical. They always feel like they want to go home and dont belong here. Some of them remember past lives as alien beings and can even travel to these places astrally. I have met Pladieans and Syrians and for a long time was welcomed on their planet as one of their own.
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Post by hummingbird on Jun 29, 2015 14:25:19 GMT -5
OOO Yes!! me too!! I have always thought i haven't belonged in this cumbersome body. Even the way i look is not right..'I am meant to have darker skin, finer features, and definitely taller LOL!! That ones a wish I am never at home anywhere. I have always been at peace when someone passes over, because i have always known they have gone home. I remember waking from a dream once, I had been talking to my Bill and Teeka in my dream..They had been talking to me about home.. I was really excited and couldn't wait to get back home. I woke and thought "Um not yet!" Don't get too excited Donna LOL!! I totally enjoy being alive and love life, and find anything amusing and am in Awe of it all majority of the time and i do believe i will be here for a very long time. But Where is Home? Australia is not my home, even though i was born here, my heritage is English, Scottish and French. I was first born here.. so all of my ancestors were all born elsewhere. I have a massive draw to France.. The Arts, the Country side, The Language, The history, The Theatre, The Belle Epoque era to be precise. I am only ever at peace when i am drawing and Painting. I "Need" to paint, I "Need" to create.. My soul dies if i do not. It is how i keep my well being healthy. another part of my "Needs" Is to help, either via mediumship or hopefully in the social working role i am aiming for with my degree.. I must help, its not all about me. I am here to serve not only myself bu others.. that is a massive inbuilt need!! I definitely need darker skin.. even though i am quite dark already , I am meant to be darker. I have felt this even as a child. More Indian dark or even a Italian. I do get mistaken for Italian. I am nearly 50 and am only just getting use to what i see. Funny as that sounds. Maybe the next life i will feel like i should be what i have now LOL! Maybe this is why our connections to our previous lives, and our connection to the spirit world (Home) is so strong?? Maybe because we "know" we are a soul with a human experience, its a deep knowing/feeling, rather than just parroting a saying. This is maybe why we have a disconnection to our human existence and its surrounds? Lol this makes sense, I don't know where home is, it's strange. Maybe the draw to France is past life related but I'm sure you already know this  The dark skin thing is pretty cool, funny how we think of things of children and they carry on throughout life, such out of the norm thoughts too! I think you are right, about the connection to previous lives and the spirit world is right, I had not thought of this. But I also think it's something more, not sure what though haha. |
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Post by hummingbird on Jun 29, 2015 14:32:01 GMT -5
I remember once while looking in the mirror I realized that everything was alive and everything was God. I was podnering how even my reflection was a life of its own and then it stuck out its tongue for me!! I have also gazed at other people being myself in the reflection even with different clothes on and everything. That one scared me a lil and made me run away from my reflection. Even the glass seemed to disappear and leave the space between me and the other man in my reflection. There is an ancient Shamanic ritual that entails using a mirror and some water, (fluidity) to create a open portal to another universe. Shamans would draw allies to themselves and watch as these other worldly beings enterred into the reflection and moved on their own, then entering into the world with the Shaman and working together for whatever means the Shaman has in mind. I know you mean something else but still it reminded me of that. When you perceive the world, or your reflection as something fluid and can change, or has life of its own then that is what you activate. ANother thing your post reminds me of are Star Children. People who claim they come form the origins of the Stars and different star systems that are incarnated here on Earth. These people always have advanced abilities and are often telepathic and magical. They always feel like they want to go home and dont belong here. Some of them remember past lives as alien beings and can even travel to these places astrally. I have met Pladieans and Syrians and for a long time was welcomed on their planet as one of their own. Lol the whole tongue sticking out would make me jump! That is very interesting though, I will try it sometime, I think it will be useful to me, so thankyou for that. As for the star children, that makes sense. I have had visions, dreams and such relating to this. In some dreams I am visited by 2 entities, mother and son I feel. And I think I am related to them somehow. At the moment I don't know where they are from or what they are but I am sure If I tried I could find out. I know exactly what they look like though, perhaps that could point me in the right direction of knowing more. I just find it hard sometimes to 'believe' and need validation for whatever reason. But such things seem difficult to validate. |
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Post by ~¤LilacSky¤~ on Jul 1, 2015 0:31:38 GMT -5
I think again this goes with the entire multidimensional being thing here...and honestly I see me but in many ways if that makes sense...
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Post by hummingbird on Jul 1, 2015 13:01:53 GMT -5
I think again this goes with the entire multidimensional being thing here...and honestly I see me but in many ways if that makes sense... Yep it makes sense, Perhaps sometimes I just need to take a closer look |
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Post by ~¤LilacSky¤~ on Jul 2, 2015 21:50:31 GMT -5
we all do hummers:)
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