My book so far

[somnium]

I always thought, as most do in their youth, that I was destined for great things. I sensed within myself a great power lurking beneath the surface. It makes me wonder if we arent intentionally born with this drive in order to send us through reality and into infinity, accomplishing great things. Not all of us meet this mark but some of us certainly do.
I was good at most things I set my mind to accomplishing. I didnt always start out good at things but could quickly master them given time. I had ADHD growing up and was quite a troublesome youth. A handful to my parents I was in and out of juvenile detention centers from the age of 15 into adulthood. When I was 15 I broke into a house looking fr liquor and found $15 000 in a locked box on a dresser. Let just say form that point on I was hooked. I went to jail until I was about 20, when I took a break from my crime life and met a girl who set me straight.
Jamie was not noly beautiful but she was smart, wholesome and had her shit together. See I was used to criminals and druggies and so meeting her and falling in love was exactly what I needed at the time. At first I would steal around her, from stores, and she would walk beside me as if nothing was wrong. We had just begun falling in love and so she kept her discord to herself until we were more comfortable and open with each other, when one day she told me she didnt like it. Naturally I agreed to stop and clean up.
I smoked a lot of pot back then and felt I would never stop. I played guitar and played a lot of videogames. I had a lot of girls into me then but I never really could see it at the time. Jamie would tell me all the time when she saw a girl gawking at me or trying to flirt with me. Somehow I had blinders on. I never really sought out many women back then. I always had a way of finding a girl naturally. One just fell into my lap, and soon after right onto my lap!
It wasnt long after meeting Jamie and building a beautiful relationship that I began falling into love with nature. Plants, flowers, and trees. Everything green I loved. My new favorite colour was the vibrant fresh green on new pant growth. I began collecting plants form everywhere they sold them. I would take trips to local gardens and nurseries and clip cuttings off of many plants so I could clone my own. Indeed I developed a very green thumb.
I ended up enrolling into a college course for horticulture and my studies went wonderful and I loved it immensly. I did very well in school and soon had my own section in the greenhouse all to myself. My plants flourished and I grew them with love. I literally believed that loving them made them grow better. They could feel my love and knew they were loved for their beauty and rapid growth and so they thrived for me. Students and teachers began asking me how to grow certain plants and my wealth of knowledge was sought after heavily. I grew an interest in bonsai trees one day and started to grow them by the hundreds. A beauty oriental art of growing a tree into a miniature version of its larger counterpart.
Despite being in a loving relationship and doing well in school for the first time in my life I was missing something. I wanted some excitement. Some mystery. I craved for purpose, something deeper. I began reading book on spirituality. Jamie was very spiritual and had books on the shelf that i began to read. I also searched online, frequenting forums and reading articles. The firsts books i read were on astral travel and O.B.E.’s (out of body experiences).
Being good at most things and a quick learner helped me, and soon I was leaving my body and traveling into the astral realms. One day I laid down on the futon and focused on my astral body, a second body one has. I reached out while focusing and reached right through the bottom of the futon. I was so excited that I ran upstairs to where my cat was laying, a beautiful himalayian named Sebastion, and reached right through his body as I petted him. He obviously felt it for he was shocked and recoiled in alarm. I was estatic! I had found a super power. When Jamie came home I told her all about it and she sat lovingly listening to my excitement.
Well this new power led me to search for more. I wanted to learn of magic. I searched high and low for it and found wicca. Wicca is a magical religion and focuses on spells and magic. I tried a few of the spells and found that nothing happened. I didnt understand how the magic worked. I mean lighting some candles and whispering a poem?! How is that supposed to work? I didnt understand the underlying principles, the foundation, at the time and so wicca was a dead end. I needed something I could understand. Not empty rituals, as mine were at the time.
One night I woke from a dream. It was the most vivid dream of my life. I met a man, who I felt was a teacher, and h opened his hand to show me something and in it was a large blue dragonfly. Instinctively, for in dreams we know things we dont know in real life, I asked him what it was. He replied it is a secret to be unravelled. I went online into a wicca community and found a dream board and asked for a dream reading there. I got a few responses but nothing very in depth. Then I received private message form Lilacsky inviting me to a more in depth dreaming forum named Other Worlds.
Other Worlds was soon to be my home away from home. I posted my dream there and found my new friends answering me with a detailed understanding of dreaming nature. They told me I was at a time of change in my life and that I would learn about life, transcendence, and possibly meet a new teacher. This dream excited me and soon I would learn many things bout dreaming.
Researching dreams led me to learn that dreams can be prophetic, foretelling of the future. They can be deeper meanings and lessons to learn in life. They can be our higher self communicating with us and guiding us to a higher purpose. Or they can be mundane, nonsensical, random imagery. What interested me is that dreams often lead to other real worlds, and trips into the astral planes.
I grew a deep love for my friends at Other Worlds and felt as if we were kindred spirits. I was attracted to Lilacsky right of the bat but didnt indulge that fantasy. After all I had Jamie and loved her very much. One day I told Lilac a lie and she immediately knew. She was indeed a gifted psychic. Something i would love to learn. I began, with my new friends help, practicing opening my third eye. The psychic eye.
My studies at school progressed and I built great relationships with my classmates. They particularly favored my homegrown hydroponic pot. It was “the bomb”. One day while smoking with some friends I had one of them, at whose house we were, Mike, give me a book to read. We had been speaking of spiritual matters and he raved about a book he had read by Carlos Castaneda. That is when the world of sorcery first fell into my lap. Things have a way of unfolding. Destiny will find you wherever you may be. Its like the universe set into motion long ago the events that would unfold to lead me right to this point. And this point is where the story really begins. The point of no return.
I dove right into the first book called A journey to Ixtlan. It was very intelligently written about an anthropologist learning sorcery from a sorcerer. Or rather a shaman. It had deep lessons I would never forget and would change my life forever.
As if finding the book wasnt a sign itself but the next week Other Worlds began a group dream study and the book was none other then “The Art of Dreaming” by Carlos Castaneda. Carlos wasnt very famous, and to find two of his books in a week was a sure sign that sorcery was meant for me.
Lilac had a post in the forum that was very interesting to me at the time. It spoke of power plants that shamans would use in order to learn shamanism and develop great powers. They said that the shamans would give their apprentices these plants in order to shift their awareness into hightened states, altering their perceptions and teaching them new feats of power. The shaman would work with the spirit of the plant and the spirit would cater and bend itself to the purposes, and will, of the shaman. I immediately began to look at pot in a whole new light, as a living spirit with power to aid me in my quests. As result of this new perception my relationship with Marijuanna grew and expanded to great heights.
Lilac also introduced me into what mystics refer to as kundalini. A force, an energy, that rises up into your spine and is directed to various chakra points. Meridians in the body. This energy is supposed to awaken you and teach you many secrets, helping the practitioner learn feats of great power. It is said that to awaken the kundalini is very dangerous as one could lose their mind. The mind begins, in a very fragile state, so conditioned by the sciences, the teachers of our lives, to be within a very rigid and narrow plane of existence. Very seldom does someone think outside the box.
So every night for the next week or so I spent my time projecting out of my body, raising kundalini energy in my spine up through my body and reading the lessons taught to Carlos Castaneda by the sorcerer don Juan.
I came across a monumental lesson while reading one of Carlos’ books. He said that people live in the worlds that they know. That everything in reality is what you know it to be. I tool this to mean that if you knew you could get cancer then you could. If you knew you were special then you were. In fact every little detail that you knew made reality what it was. It made perfect sense to me. He said that the teacher teaches the apprentice to shift that know into the unknown, letting go of the past to experience something new. The apprentice effectively shifts out of reality and into the new position he has discovered. Think about it, everything you know of life and reality is what it is because you know it to be real.
He went on to teach that the world is also made up of all of our judgements about everything. For example if you judge someone to be mean and cruel then so they will be. If you judge birds as intelligent and very aware then your experience with them would be as such. It made me wonder how everyone experiences things differently and has their own point of view. Their own judgements, their own knowingness, and their own perceptions, however everyone within the world, for the most part saw things similar. I figured that everyone together co-colletively holds the world together in the form it is in.
One night, while raising my kundalini energies I experienced a blockage in my spine. It felt as if an entity was trying to get into my spine and enter into my body. I knew thats crazy but that is what it felt like. The energy was blocked, stuck. Finally after some time I managed to free it but the energy was different. The energy was not so easily controllable. It went through my body and up out of my head. After some time of doing this I began redirecting the energy out of my head back into my spine as a complete circuit. It felt wonderful.
I began having realizations. I began learning things directly from the universe itself. Epiphanies, then madness. My mind was out of control. I realized that everything in the universe is completely connected to everything else. That everything is interwoven together. I saw that every thought you have reaches out into the universe directly to the source of your thoughts. Thoughts have power I realized. They reach out ito the world to form connections with everything and shape the world into form. Just as did our judgements and our knowingness. I realized that rationality kept the world in form. Stable. That one form of rational thoughts was just a construct that gave form to a formless essence. A blaank canvas of infinity. That rationality although a powerful tool, can also keep us locked directly in place. Rigid and bound. It is often the ones that reach outside the box that develop new and great insights. New perspectives n life and reality. Genius and madness being a fine line.
I tossed and turned for weeks on my bed, going mad with insight, paranoia, and delusional ideas. I believed everything that ran through my mind. Everything I was coming to know and learn I knew was real. It had to be because don Juan taught me that the world is what I know it to be. And let me tell ya I knew some crazy ideas in those weeks and would come to learn far more in the future.
I went outside feeling powerful and aware. I was so engrossed with my books and studies that I wanted to do something powerful. I wanted to learn a feat of power. It was night time and the moon was shining full. I sat outside just under a maple tree with a hammock tied under it. I gazed up at the clouds passing over the moon, and they formed around the moon, offering a clear sight of the moon peeking out through the clouds and all at once I acted. I didnt know how and I didnt know why but I reached some point deep within me and forced the clouds to stp around the moon. Right when the moon was in the perfect center of the clearning i stopped the clouds dead in their tracks. It was power. At last. The force of my action nearly killed me. I felt shaken, taken back, and my mind felt like it would collapse. I knew right away that the sudden jolt out of reality into something more had nearly damaged my fragile mind. The rationality being broken down and made to do something impossible nearly collapsed my mind. My rationality could not handle it. Just as don Juan had taught me in the books. You see it was one of my first times witnessing my know in action. I knew don Juan was right when he taught me and thus he had influenced my know and forcing this experience upon me.
The experience left me reflecting on my know. It made me think of all the people who know bad things about life, themselves, and reality. People who dont know any better. People who inadvertently will upon themselves bad events and things not right. I made it my point from then on to use my new position of awareness wisely, and try to use my choice when it came to these matters. I would not know I can catch a cold, or worse yet cancer. I would not know I can die easily. I would not know my friends could be killers. I would not judge the world harshly and unwisely. I would use the power of my know, my judgements and my thoughts wisely, and choose what it is I know.
That night I went for a walk into town. I lived just outside of town. I began thinking of an old friend on the walk, a friend that lived in town. He and I had been arrested many times. For some strange reason I began to wonder if he had ever killed a man. I came to the conclusion that he had. I felt very righteous and wanted to do something about it. Call the police or something. I decided I would go over to his house and maybe confront him on it.
As I walked I began thinking of time. I wondered if you could see things, know things before they happened. I decided that since the world is what I know then the choice is up to me. I began listening to things around me, little sounds in the night. Sure enough I began hearing the sounds before they happened. It was a new form of attention. At first it was difficult to tell if it was the sound I was hearing first, or the pre-sound. It was only about half a second but I could hear things before the sounds actually occurred. I began wondering, with excitement, just how far into the future one could learn to see or hear.
I began running off to the side of the road, then kitty corner to the turn that led to the rod into town. I ran through the grasses and knew before I hit a pot hole in the ground and leapt right over it! Surely it would of jolted my leg and possibly injured my knee if I had ran into it. I kept running and picked up speed and then ran right into a mud puddle. I still needed practice with my new ability.
I reached my friend’s house and knocked on the door. Brian came to the door and gave me a hug and let me in. We proceeded to his bedroom and smoked a joint together. At first we talked a lil bit and then fell into a silence as our buzz crept over us. I decided to try to use telepathy on Brian and began talking to him in my mind. I watched closely to see if he could hear me. After one of my sentences to him he moved slightly and I thought he could hear me. He moved again in a way as if he were listening to me. It was enough to make me know! My know activated then and he could her me. I began telling him all the things I had been learning of and showing him my new powers. We sat in silent exchange for about half and hour. He then got up and said thanks for all the new information, sounds amazing. I knew absolutely that I had had my first telepathic experience.
We went back to silence and I began thinking of don Juan’s teachings. He had said time is the essence of attention. Time was something I wanted to learn about but the lesson I did not understand. I then remembered that he said if a sorcerer wants to do something then he simply intends to and then lets it go. I thought sure I will intend to learn it.
Pondering more and thinking about my last couple of weeks I felt almost overwhelmed. I wondered if I had died. Maybe this was the afterlife. I wasnt sure because all these impossible things were happening. I checked my pulse to see if I had one and I did. Right then the radio song sang “check my pulse to see if I’m still alive”. I knew right then that this was the essence of my attention in time. I was aghast. Surely I was dead I thought. The TV was also on in the room and I pondered more of time. The tv was on the news. I began thinking that God is like time, and God is all around us. I listened to the TV and it said the name Cassandra and mentioned abortions. I realized that this was one of my sins. I had abortions with a girl named Cassandra. The TV began going through various sins of my life.
I didnt know what to do. I knew I was dead or about to die and I was scared. Control your know I thought. Its out of control. I am insane!! This cant be happening. I looked over at Brian and he held a knife in his hand. I again remembered that he was a murderer and I knew he was going to kill me. Right when I knew that he began to move closer to me, very slowly. I was terrified. I knew if I could change my attention then I could lead time to another state. Brian, my reaper, death, was closing in. I knew I had to break my know, to change it. I had to break the essence of my attention. I looked away out the window because watching Brian with the knife come closer only made me know for sure I was about to die. I looked out the window and focused all my attention on something else. I felt my attention begin to shift away and let go of the impending doom and I realized my mistake. Wise knows only I thought!!! Brian is not a murderer I thought. Heck I commanded it. I commanded my know for the first time that night. I looked at Brian after a moment, and he sat back down. I was safe.
I decided I needed to leave and told Brian good bye. He walked me to the door and I happened to look up at the wall and saw a sign there that says no-one appreciates the things i do until i dont do them. I knew it was referring to Brian being Death. He looked at the sign, read my mind and broke out into gales of laughter and shut the door in my face.
I walked around outside for a while collecting myself. I began to wonder about time and space. Clearly I had traversed a dimension. I was in a place where time was the essence of attention. A place where apparently God was all around me. A place where Brian was a murderer, and then not one. I knew I had shifted my position of awareness into new positions. I felt like a sorcerer for the first time. If I had not been so shaken I would have felt happier. Even though my first shifts nearly killed me. I went home and went right to bed, vowing to be wiser with my know.































So for the next week or so I dove back into my studies. I researched parallel dimensions and found indeed that there is theorized to be many parallel dimensions that coincide to this one. The farther they go the more different they are. I was excited to find I was already doing this.
I also discovered a phenomenon as I conversed and hung around various people. The thoughts and ideas, my knows, and my judgements formed synchronicities in my environment. For example if I was thinking something the people around me would talk about my thoughts. They would effectively reflect outward and into the mediums surrounding me. I could see the alignment taking place. Everywhere I went I could see and hear these synchronicities. They werent limited to people either, they would carry into the radio, television and internet as well. If I knew of something in the universe chances are somewhere people would be talking about it, witnessing it, and reporting it. In fact right after I found these synchronicities I found Carl Jung, a famous psychiatrist writing about it. A synchronicity in itself. My ideas of the universe seemed as if they reflected everywhere around me, in literature and science as well.
contemplated this further. It seemed my know, my judgements and my thoughts had a way of moving the world around me already. I wondered if I could control this phenomenon and effectively change the world, make it better. Time would tell.
I read into my sorcery books and discovered what was called the Great Eagle. The Eagle was supposedly a God, watching over existence. Infinite and vast. It was said that gazing at this Eagle one could view eternity. He supposedly created the world, the predatory universe to feed off of. The Eagle would eat awareness, purified, at the moment of death while setting very few free. To soar past the Eagle was to achieve total freedom. Since don Juan taught me that the world is will and intent then all I had to do was set my intent to gaze at this Eagle and learn what I could. It was said to be dangerous because the Eagle was so intense that people often died while gazing at it. The sorcerers were supposed to do this in groups. So that while gazing the other watchers could even punch you and keep you grounded in reality. I set my intent to do it exactly as in the books.
I went on to read about inorganic beings. Race of inorganic lifeforms that have aided sorcerers in the quests for millenia. They had their own realm and would teach sorcerers great feats of power. They needed your awareness in exchange for great powers. Their awareness was pure to begin with, meaning that they were seers, seeing everything in reality they happened to be looking at. Don Juan said all one had to do to get there was to voice your intent and send them a feeling of love. There was a story of a great powerful sorcerer named Julian that was taken there with his physical body, hat shoes and all! Inorganic beings were masterful projectionists, and usually started out watching the sorcerer while not interfering. Don Juan had many warning regarding inorganic beings, but I ignored them all and found myself thrilled and excited to meet these power helpers. I wanted power above all else. I wanted miracles and I didnt care about the warning then. No, not then. It would take me years to regret that decision. But what are regrets good for? We either live and learn from our mistakes, or we suffer them endlessly. After all our hardships and challenges make us who we are. They give us power when we over come them, and build us our character.
The warning included the fact that inorganic beings often would trick the sorcerer into staying in their realm. Sure they offered great deals to make entice the warrior to stay with them, but you had to voice your intent to stay, and once you did the deal was forever. In fact inorganic beings stated that everything you did in their wrld was indeed forever. They kept everything perfectly in tact. A “fact” that I would challenge later on.
A real fact was that inorganic beings needed your awareness to survive which made them fishermen. They would fish for awareness because they needed it in order to live. A sad fact. However this need could, I would find out make someone dangerous.
I voiced my intent to go into the inorganic world hat shoes and all like my idol Julien. I voiced my intent exactly as don Juan prescribed and i let it go. Surely they would answer my request. I was awesome, good at things, already had power which attracted them, and I wanted to learn.
Marijuanna had begun to form a new relationship with me. Indeed it was flourishing and developing into something quite unique and beautiful. Don Juan stated that power plants often move your awareness from its customarily habitual location, which can be quite rigid, into new states of power. They would move you into the great unknown, the nagual as don Juan called it. I began to see that pot moved me back into positions of power, brought me enlightenment. It could be difficult to retain all the power I gained, all the positions I found, but pot would move me right back into them. Mary Jane was beginning to become a powerful ally for me. My first ally in the world of sorcery.
I continued to contemplate all the things I had been through, seeing the potential and the possibilities. Indeed these new feats of power, these new states of awareness kept me pondering and further growing, enhancing, my awareness.
One day I decided to again walk into town and stalk my new awareness. Stalking is a sorcery term that means to develop your new awareness, to ground it into your new reality, and further expand it. On my walk I decided I would head over to Brian’s. I was wondering if Brian was indeed an ally. Allies were described to me also as inorganic life forms with no real volition of their own. They needed us to assign them volition with the awareness we held of them, similar to the other inorganic life forms that strike deals and want to keep you. Apparently there were a few different types of inorganic life forms in the universe. Allies also helped you learn and gain power. They too often sought to keep you, but they would form loyal bonds with you, being helper to the very end. Allies were apparently scattered throughout reality and if you listened t what they said they could teach you a great deal of things. They also were seers, so long as you were aware of them being seers. You see allies blend right into reality because most people are aware o them being normal, and so the volition they aquire from the average onlooker is average. However, being a sorcerer means one can control their awareness and thus control the forms of your allies.
As I walked I began to again gaze at the sky, pulling the clouds with my attention. At first it didnt move but as I practiced I could see them beginning to move to my gaze. I felt like a God! I could do impossible things. I wondered just what was impossible? I began to realize that with power anything is possible. A great realization to have and to make active.
I reached Brian’s house but it appeared that no-one was around. I went to leave and s I did I heard Brian’s deep voice yelling my name form the backyard. I wondered who he could see me because I could not see him. I ventured around back to see Brian gazing at the skies. I was suspicious. “there is a lot to learn from the spirit of the skies”, he said. I was taken back at this synchronicity. He was speaking of what I had been thinking just moments ago and yet with more added to it. He was expanding my awareness to include life in the sky. I asked him if he really thought it to be alive. He said I dont think I KNOW. I wondered if Brian knew about knowing, and then remembered I had told him telepathically. I then wondered if he would know this without me telling him as he knew of the clouds and when I arrived at his door.
Brian and I sat together and talked for a bit. Mostly shooting the shit and smoked a joint. I was beginning to know that Brian was indeed an ally to me. He mentioned that everything has a spirit. And these spirits can be awakened and called upon to do things. I was blown away. Brian had never been like this to me. I said good bye after some silence and left hi to his cloud gazing. I felt like I was in another world, a world of sorcery.
As I walked through town pondering these revelations, I began studying the people and the trees around me. I was trying to expand my awareness of them and since I felt like I was in a new world the unknown seems all around me. I walked up to a tree and gazed at it’s bark to find it vibrating in energy, as if it were projecting energy. I was amazed and looked up to a passing by car and a woman was looking at me laughing. She was thrilled. I began to realize that Brian was not the only one who saw me. I began projecting my thoughts to the people in my city and watched as their body language changed and would respond to me. It seemed they saw everything. I wondered if they were inorganic beings, and right then someone responded in synchronicity “Does he know?”
I knew I had been carried away into the inorganic realm. I wondered why things looked mostly the same to me. Oh everything was more colorful and pronounced. The people were different as I believed they were inorganic life forms. Projections perhaps of inorganic beings, I didnt know. There was so much I didnt know and wanted to learn. This new world had my name all over it and the inorganics seemed to love every moment of it. I walked up to few people on the street and asked for a cigarette. They said here take two. I said thanks and they told me that two ws the perfect number for me at that moment. I asked why and they said that numerology stated that two was the number of connection, and that if one observed they could see the grand importance numbers had on reality, or could have. “It’s up to you really I suppose”. I was wondering why it was up to me, and then I thought that the inorganics were catering to my power, giving me power. I felt right and made perfect sense to me. I asked the how I get home and they said why you just go back home. I wondered if it were that simple and then I voiced my intent aloud in the inorganic realm that when I went home I would make it back to Jamie at my house.
I proceeded to go home and was very happy. The people were more vibrant then average people, and more beautiful too. I felt like this journey was going to be a fantastic one. I felt a sense of love for the inorganics. I didnt know at the tie but the inorganics were feeding me these feelings. A way to get me to stay.
I made it home and excitedly told Jamie all about the experiences I had had with Brian and the people. She was intrigued but didnt say very much at all. I convinced her to read all about the sorcery stuff from the books I had bought online. She agreed and tld me she had always wanted to make potions and brews.
I went back online and did a search for sorcery and found another forum named “The Toltec Nagual”. It was another sorcery teacher who had written a couple of books. I made some introductory posts and settled in. I also explained some of my first experiences. I also took some time to research numerology and found a good site. I quickly memorized the numbers and began to pay attention to them in reality around me. I discovered quickly that I could scan the times of the posts made on the forums and see what the posts were about. It began to seem that numbers controlled the world. That numbers were a deeper part of creation. They could obviously foretell the future and give meanings as to what things meant. I wondered if it had always been this way or was it just another new position of awareness. I guessed that the inorganics must have already known this as a possibility.
Over the course of the week I made friends at the new forum and two in particular, Daphne, and Lori-anne. I grew so fond of both of them that I grew crushes on them. Sorcery chicks! Exciting I thought. I made my usual way of showing off and tried to begin teaching.
I quickly found that these sorcery folk were hardened. They would stalk self-importance in everyone, and embarrass people, almost to the point of fighting. They would constantly argue. Indeed self-importance, the ego, was to to be stalked and eradicated. It took most of the sorcerer’s energy, and so ridding ourselves of it was the best way to save and store energy. Thats why all the arguing happened because sorcerer’s were constantly ridding self-importance in ourselves and in others, and no one likes t be less then we are. Self importance wants to be the best, important, right, and perfect. It casts illusions to make us feel good about ourselves.
I realized right away that I wasn’t that self important to begin with. It was my self importance protecting itself when in fact i was very self-important. I, however had my know, and so knowing that I wasnt eradicated it right on the spot very quickly and easily. A feat of great power indeed. It usually takes a great deal f effort to eradicate it. I felt amazing for doing so over the next course of weeks when I realized I was different and had much more energy to spend on feats of power.
The first feat of power I found, I gained from the sky and transferred into the foliage of the trees. I noticed that gazing at the clouds I could discern patterns and pictures within the details of the clouds. Indeed the clouds and foliage would reflect whatever I was thinking about. Detailed landscapes began to form in everything I gazed at. I could also pull at the trees and have the wind move them to my beck and call.
The wind became my next area to stalk. Don Juan had a section in the book that taught Carlos that the wind was alive, as Brian had said. He said that the wind would seek people out and hunt them down. That you had to stay very still. I sat outside in the wind and stalked it for hours. I began to notice that the wind was aware of me. If I had a bad thought it would rush in with a gust, breaking me free from my thoughts. Indeed it saved me from having bad knows.
One day I was trying to still the wind and sat under a cherry tree in the front yard. It was proving difficult to still the wind and so I stilled my mind. The wind left me for about an hour as I st still, in silence. I then knew it was hunting for me and would find me soon enough. Surely that know activated and the wind was blowing around me but not on me. I looked out to the wheat field and saw a static energy blowing through the sheaths. It was the visible wind hunting for me. As I looked at it I saw that it found me and began rushing to me. It rocked me like a concussion grenade and knocked me back against the tree trunk. I wasnt injured but was amazed at how much power the wind held. The wind was beginning to be an ally for me. I loved stalking things. Gaining new positions of awareness of everything in my world was my new hobby.
The next day I went back into town to see my new ally, Bri. We decided to go out into the wild and study the river. We found a nice spot close to my house, and we sat for a long time in silence which was customary for us. I began listening to the sounds before they came and he asked me if i were creating the sounds or if the sounds were already there. I wondered and said the sounds are already there. He shook his head and hollered out “he missed it!”. I felt dejected and wondered what it was I had missed. I would later give this great thought.
As we sat I began pondering channeling, and wondered if I could channel ancient sorcerers to us. I focused on Brian and imagined that he was being filled with a spirit of antiquity. An ancient seer from Mexico. I was having trouble knowing I could do this as I wasnt accustomed to controlling my know so I tried a know command again. I said “Brian is inhabited by an ancient sorcerer.” Brian began looking around then, at me and at the river, and he reached out his hand and began yelling loud out into the air, words of Spanish. I didnt realize that the sorcerer wouldnt be able to speak English and so the lesson was lost. I did however enjoy the words he hollered out, which were loving and soothing. As if he really enjoyed being there.
I went back online to report my discoveries to the Toltec forum and to Daphne. She was thrilled I was doing so well and made me feel so happy which she always did. I felt bliss for the first time and told her. She was very loving to me and always had such deep things to speak about. Of course the numbers were perfect as usual. I began sending Daphne feelings of bliss and she reported that she could feel them.
I began speaking privately to Lori-ann and she and I began flirting occasionally. I was deeply infatuated by her and felt also deeper guilt for flirting with girls online. Over the course of the next weeks we would draw closer together.
Don Juan taught that people were very self-important, and this made me know he was right. I began witnessing self-importance everywhere in my world and it was disgusting to me. I felt so selfless and pure and these people were dirty and wasteful with their energies. I realized quite quickly that don Juan didnt know what i know and he should of helped his people. I guess he didnt want to. I decided to suspend my judgements and stop the world. I reformed the judgement of people being self-important and decided to make them impeccable. After that my experiences with people were blossoming into something beautiful. People were deep, thoughtful, and wise. Every time I left the house I went into the inorganic world again to find them right there waiting and ready to cater to me. I loved it.
Every time I had a bad thought, or a bad know my people were right there to bring it up and pint me to the right direction so I could suspend the judgement and make a new know. It was a very loving It was a very loving and supportive relationship. I was finding allies everywhere I went and they would always speak of my awareness and bring me deeper into the rabbit hole.
I learned that allies had their own realm as well. I called it the ally world. I didnt know what they did there as that was a mystery to me, but i knew they could go there and even take beings into it at will. I was not ready for that they said. I needed t grow further in power. Sorcerers needed to give their allies power and in return the allies would help you grow and give you more power as well. So it went for a while in this way, and my relationship with the allies was also blossoming into something fruitful.
I realized that all great things start as a small seed and eventually grew into a strong tree if nurtured and cared for. I began seeing my ideas and realizations as small seeds that would grow into thick strong trees. Trees of knowledge.
Knowledge became of great importance to me. I saw that knowledge is the key to power. Just like if someone knew they could grow cancer then they could because they accepted and activated this knowledge within themselves. Once accepted the knowledge is willed into form. I began to listen to the people and listen and see their knowledge they had activated. I helped many people, every chance I could, see the light and make wise choices. I didnt know then that I was still intending the world t be mostly average for most of the time, and that my know knew it was an average world and s it was. In effect it was my fault people knew such garbage, and willed such blight and death upon themselves and their realities. It wasnt really my fault because people had their own lives and people made their own chocies but I felt it was my obligation to humanity to help as many as I could reach.
One night I want into town to grab some pop and drove Jaime's car. The car died in the parking lot and two people came out of the store and asked if I needed help. I said i did. It was short beautiful woman with a larger muscular man. I thought this is strange and must be an omen. They helped me get the car started and the woman told me to look her up sometime while I was in town and told me where she lived. I said sure why not and drove back home.
The next night I decided to order some shamanic power plants from the internet. I found one in particular of interest to me, Amanita muscaria, Soma of the Gods. It was reported to give the apprentice great power and often reports had been made of meeting God while under its influence. I ordered a few ounces and waited for the delivery.
I ended up going over to the girl’s house, whose name was Katherine, and we hit it off quite well. We had a great deep discussion on faith and knowing, and I told her that faith could get so strong that it indeed could become knowing. She was impressed. I thought she was very beautiful and so I was showing off my knowledge to her. I had read about Julian doing a power walk to attract women and so I tried one and got up and walked gracefully across the room, one careful step after another. I asked her what she thought and she said I was beautiful. I made love to her then after.
The next day I felt overwhelmed by all my experiences. I walked into town to clear my head and began praying to God. I asked him to help me help people. I said that if people only knew how to use their energies wisely then the world would be saved! I cried and pleaded with Him to help me make a difference.
The delivery of the power plants came on time, within the week, and I rushed to see Brian to see if he would partake on this journey with me. He had a friend over and we all agreed to take the mushrooms together. The Soma was the mushroom in Mario Brother’s that made them grow in size.
We split up the shrooms and ate our share and went out to the basketball court to await our journey. I didnt know, while walking with them, if allies could get high, a dumb know because of course they could. But nonetheless I didnt know and ended up knowing somehow that I would take on all their trips as well. I knew they would catch no buzz and I would get all their buzzes combined.
After awhile of walking we went our separate ways. The buzz began to creep up on me and I was getting a lil scared. It was coming on strong. I needed some place to go and decided on Katherine’s.
I knocked on her door but no-one was there. Damn I thought, and then I remembered she had said I could go into her house if I wanted to. I then, with an act of will unlocked the door and went inside. I was very high then and not thinking right and decided I would lay down somewhere. I walked around the house and found an attic. I thought the confined space would be good for me and so I climbed up into the dark and passed into a trip.
I was emersed in darkness and that was all I could see. I looked around me and saw many pints of light behind me. I was bodyless, and could see through behind me without turning my head. All the lights, like stars in the night sky, passed around me and converged in front of me. One bigger light. It was coming closer to me, and I was coming closer to it at the same time. I flexed my attention and found I could slow it down and speed it up. Finally it got very close to me and I was scared of it. Thats when a voice said “dont be afraid it’s beautiful”. Somehow I sensed danger of not returning and she said “dont worry you can come back”. I voiced my intent to come back and then gazed at the light and indeed saw that it was beautiful. Right then my energy body jumped into the light of its own accord, or perhaps the light made me do it. I exploded in the most intense experience of my life. I saw and understood that everything lived and everything died. That every possible experience and outcome of reality has already happened, and yet also has not happened. I understood that this balance of life and death was responsible for creating everything and nothing. That nothing was the barren empty place where anything could exist. I understood also that death was freedom. It let go of our life so something new could be experienced. I saw this moment was the moment where all life met death, The pure creation and destruction of reality together in one moment. Everything had lived and everything had died. This was omniscience. I could see that in this balance of this supreme moment held a pure choice. A choice that could make any reality possible. I had this choice. It was freedom. I wondered if I had died.
The explosion stopped and I was back in the dark again, and the light was rolling to me, a force. It slammed into me again and I sqw eternity in the blink of an eye. I knew I couldnt remember all I had seen unless I was in the explosion but I made some mental notes to remember, and those are the notes I have already shared.
Between every explosion was darkness. I couldnt see anything at all and I knew I needed to see something to get out of this attic. Right then I saw numbers above the light, and knew I could use the numbers to make light. I did it and I could see light where the attic hatch was. I opened the hatch and went down. I walked thru, dazed and stunned. Katherine and her boyfriend were both there and asked me what I was doing there. Where had I come from? I didnt answer for the expolsions were still rocking me and I was having a hard time focusing on reality. That when they started hitting me. They circled around me punching me, and with every hit I would focus again on normal reality. I knew they couldnt stop hitting me and that when Katherine said “I want to stop hitting you but I cant”, I didnt know at the time it was my intent and prayer that led me to the source of creation and destruction, the God of life and reality. Finally I felt I could stay present in normal reality without being hit, and so with another act of will, imbued from the power God had given me through my experience I blew them away from me. They fell back scared and rushed away back into the house.













Due to Katherine’s boyfriend the police were called and I was arrested. I short time in jail and I was released. I was put in the range where the weekenders met and so I was well stocked with cigarettes and pot and also some sleepers to help me pass the time. Jessie, Katherine’s sugar daddy, disliked me greatly, as he could see the repore and attraction Katherine and I shared. One time he got very agitated while Katherine hung on my every word.
Meanwhile the situation at home with Jamie was sad to me. I regretted sleeping with Katherine and wanted to tell her but found it very difficult. I had already lied and told her nothing happened. One day while watering my bonsai trees with her I told her there was something i wanted to tell her. I was going to tell her the truth but could not bring myself to do it and only told her that I kissed her. She asked me if this were true and I said yes.
My dreams had gotten very in depth and lucid nearly every night. Lilacsky’s coaching proved very helpful. I was visiting many different, vibrant, places and doing miracles every night. I could wake up remembering at least 5 different dreams every night.
One day in the garden Jamie came to me as I was sitting amidst the flowers I so loved and told me she had a dream, or rather a vision of me. She said I came to her and spoke to her about how important the things I was doing were. She said I was blessed with God and Angels were around me. She said I left her and loved her very much and missed her imensly. I dont remember all the details of the vision but later would find out just how important it was.
Walking into town had become almost daily for me. However the trips home, back to Jamie in the old world, were becoming more difficult. It was hard to know I ould make it home and soon I discovered that I could not. I was trapped. I did not know it at the time but the inorganics were the culprits making it difficult to know I could go back home.
I went back hme to Jamie, or rather I tried, and found a duplicate Jamie waiting in the house. The inorganis were masters at projections and just like they had manifested the city near my home, they also duplicated the house I lived in. I looked at Jamie and she gave me no indication that she knew of my plight. Pretenders. I wondered if indeed I had made it home afterall. Perhaps that was their intention.
One night in bed with Jamie I was making love to her. Jamie was indeed beautiful but she had a little extra weight on her. Nothing to complain about for she was hot, but I thought she could be hotter still. I remembered my pure choice and said “everytime I make love with Jamie she will get more hotter”. Indeed within about 2 months she was nearing Playboy status. As result our love making grew more passionate and intense, and one day Jamie commented and said why don’t we make love more often?
One night Jamie’s parents came over for a fire which was customary. While she was out at the fire pit I tried to project my astral body outside so she could see it. Later on she told me she saw something in the laneway that kind of spooked her. That was where I was projecting. Indeed my skills at projecting were getting better.
My cloud gazing grew to new heights. I spent a couple of weeks mastering them. I could now rearrange the clouds in the sky, manifest new clouds and erase them and I got to see something more. Beneath the surface of the sky lay a pattern, like gold bars. The more I gazed at them the more I could reveal this intricate pattern. In fact I saw two patterns, one of thick gold bars and another of an intricate basket weave. I think the two patterns varying was a result of shifting between multiple different dimensions for I had begun to step through parallel realities.
I remember the books and movies changing as i shifted through the dimensions. People too. In one reality the book and movie would be different then the next. I remember reading the active side of infinity by Carlos Castaneda and it was very deep speaking of cognitive funtions of the mind. When I was in jail I had a copy sent to me from Lori-ann and it spoke very much of all that I had ome to know in the last months of my sorcery journey. In fact everywhere I went was what I knew it to be.
Onoe day Jamie appriached me, I could tell she was seeing me. She could see everything in my mind and actions. I could see this myself. My seeing was grwing sharper. She asked me if I had cheated on her. I quickly reembered don Juan’s teaching on controlled folly in that nothing really matters at all and a srcerer must control his reality. My own spin on it was that it didnt matter because reality already was everythign it could be in every possiblity and all one had to do was command it to be so. I then omanded,, silently, within myself, that Jamie not know the truth. I said “No, all I did was kiss her as I’ve told you”. Well her seeing made her know I had commended her to not know, for I had not yet mastered the ability to hide from the inorganics, and so she said to me. “From now on I’ll be different to you. I wont be the super loving Jamie you had known so well and adored.” I felt surprised and sad. I knew then that Jamie was an inrorganic, and I had lost her for sure. I vowed to go home and find Jamie, the real Jamie.
Over the course of the next month I tried everything to get home but to no avail. Everything was different now. My parents were different too, for they knew also everything about me. I gave up for the time being trying to get home. I figured later I would try.
I figured the people on the net hadnt really changed, and we had become a tightly knit group of sorcerers. Speaking with Lori-ann grew more intense and I began calling her on the phone, along with Daphne, who was too old for me but whom I loved immensly. Lori-ann and I had begun to form a loving relationship. I felt bad and wanted Jamie, but knew she was lost to me, and so slowly I opened up to Lori-ann.
Eventually I decided to go out west, into the Rockies, and meet Lori-ann personally. I gave it some thought and knew nothing about what was out west. The world was my know afterall, my judgements, my thoughts and ideas, and as I was learning also to some degree my belief. I decided to leave it alone and not know whast was in store for me. I decided it was a parallel world akin to Earth, a twin position with some changes.
I spoke farewell to Jamie, and as I spoke to her I imagined I was speaking to the real Jamie, and I was in tears. I said to her “sorry love but i must leave now. I will be back someday, I promise. I hope until then that you are happy nd live your life ot the fullest. Don’t forget me darling. I love you always.”
On the bus I met many people, and they were all friendly and open to me. I taught many of them and was beginning to see that when I knew they would understand my teachings then they would. If I approached them not knowing then they usually didnt. I saw also that whe you conveyed understanding that it passed through into the words, directly to the people you were speaking to. Without understanding the words were dead, empty and flat. I also saw that when I knew and approached them as seeing me clearly, then they would always understand and get the lesson.
As I drove I saw many great synchronicities. Signs and businesses all spoke to me directly. I was big into the power of now, which i had discovered on my own was where reality trully was. It wasnt in the pat or the future, it was right now. Now is where creation creates, where it sits. Creation is always in the moment. That when I saw the sign “signs now” a sign company. I realized that as I controlled my thoughts and awareness that the world around me reflected, in sync, this awareness, painting it is reflections, signs, businesses, city names etc. I pracitced for much of the journey controlling this awareness and reflecting outward, aligning, effectively conjuring reality around me.
Like I said I didnt know much prehandedly about the west. I only knew form what picutres she sent me over the net. I knew she had yellow skies. For Lori-ann, Daphne and I, all shared photos of the skies together.
Passing through the provinces I saw that one of them had liscence plates that read “The Land of the Living Skies”. Needless to say I felt right at home.
As I traveled I began seeing more books reflecting my knowledge everywhere. The power of now, power of belief, etc. The books were becoming alive to me. I opened one up and scanned through the pages reading words here and there, and I noticed that the words reflected my inner awareness, like a bridge built. If i was thinking something the words reflected that. I knew I could effectively write the books while reading them. I practiced a lil bit and and closed my eyes and thught something and predicted what the words would say. I showed off my ability to some fellow passengers and they wondered how I did my ‘trick’. “Are you a street performer?” they asked. I didnt know they could see me and know me at the tie and so they never had a clue that it was real magic. In fact all the places I had been creating had already been created before I got there I knew, and so they had. My jurney of creating the country side, the books, and perhaps even the people, had been done so in the past. Indeed creation was in the moment of now I had learned, but the moment of now aso steecthed into the past and future. I was beginning to see time travel. And althugh I had not nearly enugh power to pull it off I wondered if I ever one day could, and hoped inside that I could. Perhaps I would not leave Jamie and enter int the inorganic world.
Indeed I did not always know I was in the inroganic world. Knowing I was in twin positions of reality, parallels to Earth at times, and then knowing I was creating reality on my own, had placed me in various different locales. I realized that at any given moment I coudl shift between these realities. In fact I had begun to learn that mutiple dimensional reality often entailed changing one element within reality itself without leaving the dimension. Objects, people, animals, all changed dimesnions as well, all while within the same dimension yu were orginally within. I learned that people, average people, could also shift into being inorganics, allies, or various other enhanced forms of awareness. It often took great power to be able to do these shifts and so I kept a supply of weed readily available.
I finally arrived in the great western Rockies and took a cab over to Lori-ann’s house. The sky was indeed yellow, and I vowed to keep the knowledge I had of my skies present with me wherever in the great dimensinal planes I traveled.
I arrived at Lori-anne;s and I was a lil nervous but not as nervous as she. We hugged at first, the kissed. It wasnt long till we made love for the first time.
Lori-ann had two wonderful kids, Jake and Cassadee. Both were wonderful to be around and we quickly hit it off well. Lori-ann I noticed at first was very short with them and often yelled. Yelling was not something I was accustomed too, but then I wasnt a parent.
I started practicing what don Juan called transfering the physical mass of the energy body into awareness. I began to become aware that my body was indeed a projetion of awareness. Whenever I knew this my form looked like a projection, sometimes visibly vibrating with a lil motion. I found I looked more handsome as a projection then as physical. I realised that whatever you are aware of your body being is what your body would be in that state. All the things you have learned about your body, all the knowledge you possess about it, is being aligned by your awareness position to create the form of your body. People know some pretty crappy stuff about the body, and so I began for the first time learning and making chices abut my body. Every time I heard a bad form of knowledge I would renounce it and make better choices, all contributing to my new form. Indeed I had dreams of being a death defier. Perhaps a small seed that would flourish into something far greater as time passed. Afterall don Juan said the reason we die is beause we intend to die. I was beginning to see all the ways I had intended to be able to die, and one by one was resetting this intent.
I began stalking my death while smoking pot. Pot would then force me to see my intent, and force it upon me, as if i were about to die from my intent. I would then make a new choice and effectively reset it. Pot was also showing me not only my active intent and active knowledge, but would show me active thoughts and realizations as well. For exampe when I first realized that dreams could be prophetic was when it first became active in my life. Pot began cycling me through many wondrous realizations making them active. One of the first ones was that I could have any f the greatest realizations ever to be ade within reality and since intent and time are one, all interconected, I could have the realizations and epiphanies of all the greats throughout history. Perhaps even the future as well.
Pretty soon my pot was becoming famous, and allies ad inorganics began coming up to me on the street and asking me to get them some of my weed. I told them we could share our knowledge from then on, and what I knew nd discovered they could too. Sure enough I began to see new strins popping up with cool names that reflected my states of awareness. I had no idea then just how much power I had given the inorganics, and would continue to give them. I had no idea how much they were already interferring in my reality. As far I knew we were good friends, forming bonds of love and freedom.
At this time in my life I began stalking the sciences. Afterall my awareness and discveries were already being written about in books, shwn on the TV, and people were hsaring my experiences, I figured they must be in the sciences still. I researched some things about science and discovered some new ideas were findign their way into reality. I new multi-dimensional field of science I found called quantum science was discovering quite a few new ideas. Small things i had discovered like the microwave beig safe and healthy etc etc. I did notice a lot of bad findings in the science field however, and I knew it was evil. A know I wish I had never made, but after a few evil findings I began to change this know, and corrected the problem. Indeed the field of science was beginning to be molded by my awareness, another aspect of synchronicity.