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Post by bezjak on Apr 16, 2007 14:45:50 GMT -5
Sorry for the hiatus folks.....I have been doing something that maybe was a bit to much, but it's beginning to take on full form now. I have a "disciple" of sorts, but its not what you would think at first glance. There have been many roadblocks set in this pathway, and I'm just now getting things sorted out as to the rules of such a grandiose undertaking. I will tell you this though, unless you are sure of what you believe DO NOT try this at home people......more news later.-BEZ
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Post by bezjak on Jun 18, 2007 17:04:20 GMT -5
My student is very pig-headed, and rooted firmly in the ways imposed upon him in his past..... I have shown him many things that I usually show no-one yet he stills finds his own reasons to doubt truth when presented to him.....even though he has become adapt to using Holy texts to get his point across, this is only done for what seems to be questionable purposes....I still refuse to share all my secrets....for my own reasons.
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Post by Dancing Bear on Jun 19, 2007 3:14:14 GMT -5
I would also hold back too Bezjak, some people are ready to Learn some are not, sounds like your student is only ready to learn bits and pieces rather than the whole.. I also and teaching at the moment, i am lucky so far and have a willing student, But I have had those in the past who are not ready but their mouth says they are...
You take Care Bez and Glad to hear from you...
DB xx
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Post by ladybleu on Jun 19, 2007 9:11:18 GMT -5
Only a couple of people in my life know of my path. And that after making darn sure they would not make fun or ridicule me. My family doesn't know except my son who is pagan also. My husband would probably think I am crazy and I know my son and daughter in law would disown me. Very devote Christians who make it known how they feel about pagans. So I have my internet "pagan family" and that suits me just fine for now.
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Post by bezjak on Dec 23, 2007 0:31:56 GMT -5
smile....your family loves you thru out existance.
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Post by ladybleu on Dec 24, 2007 15:26:21 GMT -5
I love my family unconditionally, this family is the only one that has done so to me. Bless all of you.
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Post by bezjak on Apr 9, 2008 19:46:32 GMT -5
We have since ended the relationship with Our student and learned a few lessons surprisingly. (surprise is good!) Yet We are saddened by the path he has chosen for himself. I digress to say this task will only be repeated with my children, and I am glad that he learned so little and understood even less. Anyway things are looking up, as far as looking goes...hee-hee. Love BEZ
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Post by bezjak on Sept 12, 2008 11:38:36 GMT -5
Well how have things been for all, as for me I have been on quite a journey.... I have since left the city of sin and traveled throughout California with a pair of seemingly "harmless Hippies" in a quest to better understand the nature of Bliss and fulfillment. Now when I say Bliss I am referring to the embodiment of the spirit of Bliss of one the physical housings in which Bliss itself has taken form....and she is/was as beautiful as anyone can imagine, anyway I am getting ahead of myself as I usually do. First of all the couple of Hippies invited me to come on a trip to California to visit and me, being sick of the monotone repetitive vibe of Vegas, was more than eager to move on with something new. Now I have been to California before, as a "child" but I had a undying urge to see the Pacific ocean again, visit the trees of the redwood forest and be near Bliss who I had met during the wedding of said Hippies in Vegas.... well while leaving Vegas odd things occurred that boggled even my mine! I found out that my room-mates were addicted to my NRG and had no intention on letting me leave without a spiritual tussle as it were, using any and every "gift" they had to cloud my mind, and judgement! Funny thing was I "knew" what was going on could feel them probing my thoughts, and manipulating my actions, even people that I briefly knew showed up at my door to try to sway me from leaving... still I fought through and just barely made my bus..... to be continued. & folks it gets really good! hee-hee!
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Post by bezjak on Sept 12, 2008 12:02:26 GMT -5
So I make the bus and am excited about the whole affair of traveling and getting away from the madness which is the Meadows, Sin city, Las Vegas, only to find that The Hippies like myself have no real feel for time, and hence had not qualms in "wasting" or "taking" it....the male "Saul" wanted to visit his father who was/is a troubled Vietnam Vet, and his wife "Jules", is/was a practical slave to his every whim and desire, then there was I simply along for the ride. Needless to say it was pure torture being around that man, being a very sensitive empath, I felt his anger and pain, and he reveled in sharing it second by second, sunup to sundown for as long as he could hold us there! About 2 and a half weeks, Jules and I felt this more than Saul for he was "attached" so to speak. And when we finally did break free Saul's father weeped at the loss of the Trio, not just because his son was leaving....hitchhiking we made it to Santa Barbara were we all encountered the Santa Barbarians, Sputternuts (a nickname of a person) and Spanky (a Deadhead who claimed enlightenment)......... but I must continue later, time is not my friend.
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Post by nani on Sept 13, 2008 12:36:56 GMT -5
just a fast step in to say hello and nice to read of your experiences, bezjak! In 79 i was in St Barbara too.. oh what nice pictures come to my mind.. and lol bezjak i can subscribe that sentence of you: time is not my friend haha, but finally i guess its more that we`re just doing to much, and too much at the same time anyways, with me also all is well so far, and it really was nice now to come here spontaneously and read of you. of course i havent forgotten any of all you nice spirit-souls, dear greetings to everyone! love, nani
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Post by bezjak on Sept 15, 2008 14:23:46 GMT -5
Ah yes Santa Barbara, a beautiful city full of exquisite sights & sounds, was quite a location to behold....I had never been there so I relied on Saul and Jules to show me the ropes as it were. We weren't there long before Jules found out she was pregnant, so Saul decided that it would be best if we rode instead of hiking with our heavy gear....Spanky was called because he had an RV that could get us from point "a" to point "b", and within a few hours the journey had a new member and a new twist, getting gas money for the "Beast" which was no easy task seeings that no-one had money just things to barter (i.e. hemp necklaces and bracelets made by yours truly) anyway ol' Spank almost demanded that we take some of the responsibility of helping clean up also. Now the "hippies" and "home-bums" of the area are a grand mixture of the "sane", "insane", and "tripped-out" folks from all over the California coast, some drank, others did 'srooms, and a wide assortment of other drugs to maintain sight of the "eternal". Which I found odd and comical at the same time. Sputternuts was one of these, and he took an instant liking to me because, well I did not indulge in such activities, which stood out in this crowd like a glass of water in the Sahara. I would sit and talk to him about dreams, and beings from different planes, how I saw the world, and what I saw in him....and for a time he followed the RV like a puppy. Yet Saul & Jules though they tolerated him did not like the fact that when he drank he became a hyper-violent monster venting his rage on anyone & anything around him. I told him he lacked control, and if he wanted I could help him gain some, but that it would not be comfortable (the process). At the same time Spanky had met up with a few of he friends from up North who were heading south and began loosing interest in taking the Trio (Saul, Jules and I) to San Luis Obispo were we were to gear up for the redwood forest....his demeanor changed, more dark and sinister,as if looking for a reason to abandon us in Santa Barbara. Now that being said while going to the beach alone one day an older lady walked up to me gave me the once over and said, "You and your friends need to leave, they are watching you, and waiting to eat the sweetness of your flesh." I scoffed yet asked, "Who?". Then she said,"You see them I know you do." That began me looking at the city in a whole new light......more later. I have to be on my way.
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Post by Dancing Bear on Sept 16, 2008 1:42:27 GMT -5
I have never understood the need for any type of drugs to be on a beautiful Road either.. My Hat off to you Bezjak I do hope all is well and you are well on your way, and out of Santa Barbara.. and you havent been eaten Please keep us up to date with your journey . You take care Love and Light to you and your friends DB xxx
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Post by bezjak on Sept 23, 2008 13:30:11 GMT -5
Now I had noticed people in general watching us....from the seemingly Upper class Gucci shade wearers to the home-bums, put it wasn't until our last day with Spanky that I really got the gist of our "fans" as it were. Spanky and his pals decided to go south and Saul, Jules and myself could not take his attitude any longer so we (three) found a bus taking us to the highway so we could hitch out of town. Now on the bus the was a wide assortment of people offering to put us up for the night, they were full of questions of how we came to be how we were, asking about our life travels to our relationship as a trio...(you know hippies are suppose to believe in free love and whatnot, which wasn't the case with us!) We were tired and decided to find a camp-site for the night near the highway and get a fresh start for the morning, it was early evening and we came across a lone bicyclist, who seemed TOO eager to tell us of a old closed part of the California highway were we could camp in a narrow gorge.....Saul was happy to get the info, but for some reason that did not settle well with me & Jules....but to appease Saul we checked it out anyway.....the hike was not really long as it was hilly, dark, and abandoned. The further we went the more I thought of what the old lady had said to me, though I didn't say much to the others until the vibe on the highway suddenly changed, plus I could smell despair/suffering/and death in the air, the others could not. That's when I voiced that we should not trust everyone especially when someone suggested a camp-site with only one way in and one way out, and us with heavy gear. Jules & Saul thought about it for a few moments, looked around, and realized how much it looked like some sort of trap so we turned around and headed back to the main road....just as we reached it a car to our left turned on its lights and drove away from us, odd we all thought, what were they doing, and why did it seem as if they were waiting for us, we pressed on backtracking to a more populated area, that same vehicle drove past us at least six time on our hike, when Saul remember a old camp-site, we quickly found it and set up a tent, no more than 60 yards from houses and the highway entrance, and I was the only one who noticed that same vehicle going back and forth on the side roads all night until about 4:05 a.m. as if they were searching for us.....
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Post by Dancing Bear on Sept 23, 2008 20:14:11 GMT -5
MY gosh!! How weird and i would say for me a bit frightening.. reminds me too much of horror movies Bezjak.. You most definately did the right thing..
Sounds like you are needing to rely on raw instincts here...
Please keep us up to date .
Hopefully the fellow in the car tires of watching you..
Love and Light to you all DB xxx
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Post by bezjak on Sept 25, 2008 11:58:07 GMT -5
The journey continues....I didn't sleep much that night needless to say, though once the sun came up I did nap a bit, Saul and Jules being "late wakers" didn't mind sleeping in either, after hiking miles and miles the day before. I told them about the vehicle (a black 2008 Charger), and they seemed really oblivious to any menace, so I left the whole issue alone for the time being. We ate a small breakfast and headed to the highway to hitch to San Luis Obispo....now I know married couples bicker and pick at each other from time to time, but these to (in their early 20's) where like my grand-parents, which I found hilarious! While waiting by the road side, they complained about almost anything you could imagine, from the ants, to the blazing sun, none of which they could stop or change! LOL! I mean of course my comfort level was about the same as theirs but why fuss about it, it was something that I WANTED to experience, these were places that I WANTED to see first hand, and as Dancing Bear said I was learning to trust my inner instincts without question, because believe me if I hadn't well no one would be reading this right now. Anyway....after one and a half to two hours a couple of lesbians stopped in a small economy car, and made room for us, they had a mid-sized dog (oh yeah I almost forgot to mention we were also traveling with a small Mini-Pincher/Dachshund) which made the ride interesting to say the least! LOL! They weren't going that far but since we had no means, they decided to take us anyway. The couple were full of joy & love and everyone enjoyed each others conversation. After about 45 minutes to and hour we arrived in San Luis Obispo, we thanked the couple (I gave them 1000 blessings ) and we marched down the side of a road up a path to the camp-site run by "Pops" an old home-bum.....this is where things begin to change a the vibe of Saul & Jules changed, and the beautiful Bliss once more blessed me with her presence....(Ooooh she's so lovely! Ha-ha-ha-ha!)
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Post by Dancing Bear on Sept 25, 2008 18:56:53 GMT -5
LOL!! Glad you made it to your next destination.. Sounds like you had a much better blessed day.. less stressful on the couple i would say and in turn giving you bliss LOL! great to read of your journey Bez, I am really enjoying it... feels like we are there with you, Love and Light Dancing Bear xxx
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Post by bezjak on Sept 29, 2008 9:44:10 GMT -5
Now Slo-town ,as the locals affectionately call it, is a quaint little old town near a mountain supposedly owned by Madonna (the pop-queen not the mother of Jesus! LOL!) And for the most part there are tons of jet-set "yippies" as Jules and Saul called them, folks who dressed in designer "hippie" clothes but believed in little except money, which was much more than a pet-peeve to the both of them. For they considered themselves "real", to which I found utterly amusing for all things and beings "here" are just that....real. Anyway I explored this new place full of wonderful flowers, parks, and old trees.....yes trees with presence and power, here's a story within a story..... 'While in one of the main parks there, the others and I were at a small gathering of young hippies, a young lady who called herself "Road Dawg" or Rowdie was passing around a notebook for folks to write down their thoughts, poems, etc. Well it was passed to me, and she asked me to write what "SHADE" would be and/or feel like. I thought about it and instead I wrote about a "MOON SHADE BEING" and sketched said being in the notebook, I could "see" it as if it were there with us in the shade of the trees that we were sitting under, Rowdie read it too herself complimented me on my work, allowed a few others to read it then rushed of to meet up with a friend. Jules, Saul, and I continued to hang out in the park, to my right was a path and a family stopped in front of one of the trees, to my surprise the man read out-loud that the tree who's shade we had been enjoying had been transported to the moon as a seed and brought back to be planted in Slo-town....so in fact we had been sitting in the shade of a "moon being". I was/am totally awestruck at the insight of my own raw instinct. Saul & Jules were spooked....' Yet this is nothing compared to what is to come....ttfn. Peace to all-BEZ
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Post by bezjak on Sept 30, 2008 12:10:52 GMT -5
Ah yes, the arrival of Bliss (a stunningly beautiful lady inside and out) to Slo-town, it seemed as if it had been eons since the last time I saw her. So of course I was happy to see her again. Though the living conditions (the camp-site) really weren't her cup of tea, and she really was ill prepared for life with Saul & Jules. Just to be blunt and to the point, Saul didn't really want her there because of her relationship with Jules.....which was more "established" than his marriage. That being said his attitude, and feeling were in flux CONSTANTLY. Jules on the other hand knowing of his state would tease him for being weak and "small". (Honestly Saul and Napoleon had tons in common. Mums the word on that! LOL!) Saul's jealousy was almost all consuming, lashing out at even me (the best man of his wedding) for reasons beyond normal understanding, he began drinking with the home-bums and Pops at the campsite heavily mostly beer but being as "small" as he was his spirit was allowed to unleash its lack of self-confidence,and hatred on all....truely his fathers son. Bliss & I remained mostly unaffected by his outbursts and drinking binges, we were content to watch or consul the our married friends, but in the end we all concluded that it was the "place" where we were sleeping at that was the main problem. You see the "spirit" that surrounded Pops camp-site was one that he had allowed in, and though it always started out warm and friendly by the end of each day it would become wanting, violent, and demanding.....dominating all who were willing to succumb to its NRG. Pops tried to control it, but as I expressed to him there is no controlling the uncontrollable. I won't go into detail but after a few days there from the drinking to the fights, things really got out of hand and I (ha-ha-ha-ha!) was ready to move on to the next place, forcing the issue, to were Saul, Jules, & Bliss called their respective people and ACQUIRED the funds to catch a bus out of town. Upon realizing that we in fact had had enough and were leaving all the home-bums made a effort to leave a good impression with us. Buying vegan meals for the girls and high end steaks for Saul & myself, of course there were cases and cases of Natty Ice but upon becoming drunk they were all "happy" drunks for a change. Hmmm....don't get me wrong I too had a few, but of course the reason behind my indulgence was almost purely social. (Natty Ice isn't that great of a beer, and I prefer Binding Beer from Frankfurt a/m Germany! which isn't here in the states so....I don't drink beer often.LOL!) Next stop Eureka were I start to suspect there's more to this journey then even I had believed....peace to all -BEZ
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Post by Dancing Bear on Oct 1, 2008 2:17:49 GMT -5
Cant wait to hear what happens in Eureka Thanks for sharing Bezjak
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Post by bezjak on Oct 3, 2008 9:30:52 GMT -5
Eureka....was just a speed-bump of a town compared to the other places that we had been to. The mountains on the other hand were spectacular the air fresh and crisp, when you took in air in your mouth you could taste the pine and redwood....really a glorious place indeed. Anyway our little group touched down off the bus hungry and a tad bit beat from the bus ride, yet still had the nrg to hike about 4 miles in search for a good place to spange (ask for spare change). The girls spanged up quite a few dollars in a short period of time, and all ate like kings and queens.( though Saul was not fond of the idea the girls flirted a lil bit!LOL!) After we ate the quest turned to finding a place to set up our camp-site, which turned out to be more difficult than expected, all the fields had been cleared, and some of the locals told us the MAN had just busted some hippies camping in the local parks, threw them in jail for sleeping there, and upon release dropped them off without their backpacks and gear. SO we hiked up some railroad tracks until we found a clearing and set up camp, ninja style in the dark. For some reason Saul & Jules were at each others throats again, and she kicked him out of their tent, (mind you Jules & Bliss thought it was hilarious, teased him, going on and on.) Saul who had been kind of awkward toward me for a few days, asked me to walk with him to get some cigarettes, of course I pop up and obliged him, well as we walk in the dark he went on to tell me how he had been feeling pressure to be more than he was willing to be, and being forced to accept a "relationship" between Bliss & Jules that he made him feel "inadequate", that even though I wasn't really involved in this all that I some how brought balance to the situation just by being who I was and understanding everyone for who they were. Now I took all this with a grain of salt, but then he said something real odd, and I quote, " Man, me and the girls need you, and want to keep you forever...." I said nothing, but in my soul I started to realize some things about this whole trip that didn't settle to well with me. From the encounter with Saul's father, Spanky, the camp in San Luis Obispo, the absence of Bliss until this point of our journey, and the assortment of lil white lies told to coax people out of their spare change, not to mention aspects of "JUJU" on Saul & Jules back-packs, all this plus that last statement Saul made put MY soul on high alert. Yet I (ha-ha-ha-ha) said nothing.....for loose lips sink ships. Next stop Arcada, the redwood forest, Mystic and a slew of hardcore worshipers of many gods.....
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