Post by petal on Mar 7, 2008 23:40:08 GMT -5
as i venture on my path, reach a state of being one with the moment, as if the moment is God. and sometimes i see it is other things, however recently i remembered something, due to the time I have spent in this consiously aware state of choice. i remember a place he was formless, as it was taking form. i was with my mother, but sje was every mother i have had, in all planes at the same place. however the most visibale form was of my most recent mother. i saw that in this place we were both aware of the free choice we have, and the fact that we can choose anything. (the tv is tripping me out lately, i want to leave soon) anyways, we both knew and didnt speak, we instead heard each otehr as one, as i expereince very oftn in dreaming reality. we wondered together, or atleast i did (while she was aware of me) if i could tell a lie, while i knew that she knew it was a lie. because we both know, andwe both know we can do anyhting. it was innocent curiousity, and so i looked at her, and we realised i could. so i did, and the result was what i expected, that she knew i was lieing and still she accepted it, because i knew i could. it is my free choice. after this point the lie became more and more, and we fell away into lies. i suffered greatly after, and i percieved hell, and many lies from that point on. i am sorry to my god, to my mother, and to everyone. i am venturing back home again, and i can see my mother again. i can see many people, in this way, and at times i can only see my lies. flip flop is tiring. depression comes easily after these states. anyways i turn on the radio after wondering about this, and it said clearly that people are now remembering the prelife state where we choose the life we are to lead, before we come here, in a way propagating our life, or incubating our choices prehand. the memory integration has been helpful for me in focusing this attention onto others. i realised long ago that we can all see each otehr free of lies, and i enjoy this place of pure conscious awareness, however the memory has helped me to sort out confusion within, in regards to what is real and what is not real, within a broken continuity of unfolding time/attention. i am gaining strength in holding this conscious awareness of one group mind. really tho, i just wanna go home!!