Jo's The Art of Dreaming Journal

[Gav]

(First record for the night of Sunday 21st of Aug)

[jo]

Really sorry guys, have not put any log-ins yet, had quite a bad patch of insomnia recently and the dreams that I must of had, were not remembered.

[Blake]

That's ok Jo, take your time : )

[jo]

Hello folks . Yippee! :-) at last, I have had a dream after weeks of poor qualtiy sleep. Finally slept all the way through a good 9-10 hr stretch and something to record after it.

The dream began with me being in a very small quaint sea-side resort, with extremely steep narrow roads, almost like this place had been built on a cliff,. but was very suprised to see how close to the suburban street life I was, if i took a wrong turn off one of the steep quaint roads. Was not entirely sure why I had come to find myself in this place but sensed it was to do with a man, some kind of partnership.
As the dream progressed I realised that I was in a relationship with this man and his heritage is this place, he was a man of fair colouring, 25 years my senior, tall, slight in build and weatherbeaten. I sensed his quietness, kindness and and his sensitivity, I could not for the likes of me, work out why I was with this man beacause I was not romantically connected emotionally to him, although as the dream spans out, I should of been!
I don't remember participating in the arrangements but there was a wedding planned between myself and this man, and it was to take place in one of my old an old classrooms (in the reality I used to take registration in this room when i was 14) . So it was to be a registry office affair, and I remember getting my wedding gown on in the room further down the corridor. I really did not want to go ahead with this wedding, it was not right, I was getting ready and I knew deep down I was doing the wrong thing. After bout half an hour with battling with my emotions, I eventually managed to persuade someone to go into the registry room and tell all the guests that there will be no wedding. It worked. For the moment, I was relived and free.

The second part of this dream, Again I found myself in the same situation, except this wedding seemed more of a big affair this time. The registry office was packed out full of family and people who I had no clue who they were. Feeling full of all sorts of emotions, ' what will people think if I told them I want to cancel ' , I felt sick to my stomach, felt pulled in both ways, knowing that I should do the right thing and call it a day, but had awful trouble in doing so. I even felt repulsed to know that it was that same man I jilted the first time coming for a 2nd attempt! And more so ashamed I felt that way about him.
I remember being so distressed inside, ' how could I let everyone down now after coming this far ' . I was getting ready in the room further down the corridor from the registry office, pulling out the wedding gown in a frantic fashion I had torn the lace, and under the ripped lace, I could see the black lining it looked awful, I tried to use that as an exscuse to get out of it all, but the girls who were helping me get ready were not having it.
I had my gown on, walking up the corridor to the office, I remember thinking 'I do NOT want this', the office was so packed and so cramp I just felt so overwhelmed, and so self conscious of everyone looking and myself being the centre of attention, it was an awful experiance. I saw my Dad and thought ' Why didn't he walk me up the corridor (isle)'. So I made my way to the front of the room, and a pannell people dressed in the wedding outfits were sat accross the table, and I remember looking at the 2 registrars seats , one was empty. I stood there and waited, and up came my future husband, I felt so sick at the thought of being with him, yet we did get on well but felt ashamed to feel that way. He came to the front and instead of standing in front of me ready to make vows, he sat in the empty registrars seat and began to make a speach. By that time I had backed off to the side, and thought to myself , ' This is it, time to get out ' , I zipped down my gown, stepped out of it, just left myself standing in my fitted full length underskirt and I just ran out of that office, and so pleased to get away, to escape that awful oppressive emotion, the sense of relief and freedom was enormous. I just wanted to keep running to get away from that man, the situation the feeling of fear, not being able to help myself of to be assertive enough.



I have just pottered about today and that dream has been on my mind alot today, and I am quite shocked at how I behaved in that dream even though it was just a dream, I questioned myself today, How could I string everyone along like I did and for that amount of time, I am utterley disgraced with myself........Thank god it was only a dream. It will always baffle me how much affect dreams have on my physical existance ( Where's my med? lol)

[nani]

Wow what an intensively dream.
I would like to put just some thoughts which do come spontaneously to my mind.
You describe him as kind, sensitive and quiet and yourself as not connected romantically - so maybe you were not supposed to marry him on a mundane level, but on a spiritual level only. Also I wonder, because he did take the seat of the registrars, he didnt take the future-husband-place beside you, so maybe again this is a symbol for that it wasnt meant to be a physical marriage, but a higher spiritual one, like he rather would symbolize your Animus, your male Higher Self. But I can be totally wrong on this, its just a thought.
For me the feeling of the end of a dream plays an important role, so surely it is a very good symbol that you got free and felt released at the end of the dream.
I feel I got some symbols in my dreams in common with yours: 1. a man (in my case asking when I`ll come to him finally), 2. "felt pulled in both ways", 3. feeling a kind of ashamed or embarrassed.

Aww this is all so very interesting. lgn

[jo]

hi nani, I have recovered from that dream...just (lol)

After thinking about that dream again today, I do think you have hit the nail on the head there with your suggestions in connecting with my higher self in that dream, and I reckon the oppressive feelings and wanting to escape is my subconcious fears too.

I shall have a read of yours and the other guys journal after this, I really am hoping to get some more dreams later this week. You never know, I could end up meeting one of you guys in them. How freaky would that be !