CrazyCats The Art of Dreaming Journal

[Gav]

(First record for the night of Sunday 21st of Aug)

[crazycat]

I got the chapter read last night, but because I was experiencing a highly emotional weekend I wasn't able to keep my mind focus on it, so I need to reread it tonight.

I did remember dreaming a lot once I finally got to bed and asleep, but my will to even try to remember or try to control any of them was pretty much nil. Hopefully I'll do better tonight.

[Blake]

Hey CC, it's been a while. It's good to have you here : )

[crazycat]

Thanks Blake, this seemed like something fun to do. I read Carlos first book this past week..well almost, I still like a few chapters finishing. It's sounds very 60ish. LOL! But interesting.

I didn't do a lot lot better on remembering my dreams last night but I became aware at the end of the one that I had just before I woke up.

I know the dream was long, but couldn't remember all the way back. Several people where with me and we had gone through something and were very tired, This lady invited us to come stay in her house which was a trailer house. She fed us breakfast, but I didn't eat because I didn't feel very good. After breakfast we all sat in the floor and was playing a board game and after a while I began to get hungry, but was still feeling sick. I ask the lady if I could have a pillow and lie down for a while. She told me I could get a pillow from the bedroom at the end of the hall. As I started down the hall I notice a clock on the wall and it was just 9:15 and I thought it was going to be a long time before we got any food again and I was wishing I had force my self to eat something, because my stomach was really cramping now from hunger and I felt a little woosey going down the hallway. The door to the bedroom was close and when I open the door I was surprise to see two ladies in there. They were two co-worker of mine that I had when I worked at J.C.Penneys years ago. They said, What's up girlfriend, where have you been or what have you been doing or something along those lines. That is when I became aware that I was dreaming. I sat down on the little childs bed and took the pillow and but it in my lap and kind of hugged it to my cramping stomach. I chatted with them for a little bit and then I woke up.

I laid there for a while and went back over the dream so I could remember it, As I went over it I wondered what was the purpose of them being in my dream and as I thought about them then I had a vague memory of them being in my dreams from the night before. Saturday night and all day Sunday and Sunday night I was having suicidial thoughts. I didn't actually go to bed until Monday morning about 6 or 7 am. When I woke up about 2 pm yesterday, my wanting to commit suicide had past, althought nothing has changed with my situation. Those two girls and one other, who was my best friend, where the last friends I had before I withdrew from the world and became like a hermit. That was over 10 years ago. My only friends since then has been people like you guys over the net. My best friend, Vicki move away, but we still stay in touch through e-mail, until she commited suicide about 4 years ago. I think I am partly responsible for her having commited suicide.

One day at work the subject of the ouija board came up and I was the only one who had played with one before and they wanted us all to get together and play it. For weeks I kept telling them no, because it was too dangerous to be fooling around with,but they finally talked me into it. I don't know if it actually had anything to do with that, but it was no time before all our lives took a downhill turn and hers ended up in suicide. I don't know about how the two girls in my dream are doing now, it's probably been a good 10 years since I've seen them. My mind is a totally blank on what their names are.

[nani]

hello Linda, good to see you.
This is an impressing dream up to the point of lucidity and I feel this has got an important message. But I only can talk about My Subjective Feelings which come up at this and I have the feel that these 2 old friends do represent your will to live ! they do remind you again that in truth you want to live, you have the strenght to live and foremost you deserve to live !!!
Never anybody can be responsible for the suicid of another person, NEVER ! If it had happened all like how you`ve described it, okay then these are the coincidences and sychronicities which usually do happen for spiritual quite advanced people. All belongs together and the most events which will happen are a kind of announced always and formeost for sensitive persons are easy to perceive.
Please be aware that exactly this kind of believe of you that you "think you are partly responsible for her having commited suicid" is like a guilt-pull, a strong pulling - away from life, to not be worth living, this is a partly conscious but strongly subconscious self-destructive mechanism.
But I feel that your Higher-Self/Subconscious wants to tell you with this dream (esp.the 2 alive girlfriends) that you should look at the alive-side of life. And it is so very good that this "old-mechanism" was showed now ! - now you could work with that, that what doesnt belong anymore in your presence-life.
I myself have a lot to work on old inner guilt-mechanisms too, you are not alone with that.. love_growth Nani

[crazycat]

I slept so hard last night, I didn't wake up not even once. It has been years since I've had slept the whole night without waking. Most nights I wake up at least 2 to 3 time, sometimes more. I usually don't sleep but 5 to 6 hours and I slept 7 and half hours! Before I went to sleep I was making affirmations to stay aware and wake up after all my dreams. That didn't work. ;D Tonight I'm going to take a B6 at bedtimes. I haven't done that in a long time because I've mostly been having insomnia.

Nani, thanks for the dream interp. The reason I feel partly responsible for my friend's suicide is because if I had not given in I don't think they would have ever got so involved in that ouija board stuff. She began having a lot of paranormal stuff happening in her home and then began getting really bad heahaches that none of the doctors she went to could find the cause or find any medicene that would help. This went on for about 9 years. The day she died she had gone to the emergency room to get help and they turned her away saying there was nothing further they could do. She went home and went straight to her bedroom and took her pistel and shot herself in the head. I just know in my heart that those headaches were the result of her involvement with that ouija board. I only did it twice and the spirits we contacted frightened me and I refuse to do it anymore, but they kept playing with it. I began having health problems that the doctors I've gone to say they can find any reason for. I know the two girls that was my co-workers began having problem too. I don't know about the other girl, the one that owned the oujia board. I didn't know or become friends with her.

[crazycat]

I had insomnia. Didn't sleep much. Don't remember dreaming anything. Bummer!

I'm feeling sad/depressed, hardly able to make myself function. I have got to force myself to get some packing done today. I have to appease the monster gods that are controlling my reality. Double bummer!

[~¤LilacSky¤~]

Hi cc, I just wanted to wish you well and I will second that its good to have ya here..and ya know something doesn't seem right if you are sick in your dreams or feeling physical pain..to me thats odd and I wanted to ask is there anything going on with your health you may not be aware of??
well Im sure you will be fine..and just know you have many people here to help and support you..in any way you need.
also how long have you had insomnia? or is this a on/off again thing?

[crazycat]

Lilacsky, I have a lot of crap going on. That's probably why.

Fri. 26th
I pretty much had insomnia again. I do remember I was dreaming, but was not lucid and then a voice said something about making a cake. It really felt like one of my audio flickers because it didn't fit what I was dreaming. It felt so odd it cause me to wake up. I laid there and tried to remember what I was dreaming and could connect back. I thought maybe the odd voice was maybe my key to become lucid, but it was so strange it caused me to wake up instead.

Then later on I was thinking about it and I rememberd reading someones dream about them eating cake in their dream. I kind of felt weird about that.

Every once in a while I have paranormal happenings in my house and there was one this morning. I had this, I call it my tidy ghost. I've been packing and I had this piece of newpaper laid across the desk where I had left it. It's been there for several days. No one has been here but me. Anyway, I had this stack of junk mail setting there for several days too. While I was sleeping someone or something took that peice of newspaper and folded it nice and neat and place it on my stack of junk mail. Another time it folded a kitchen towel and set it back on the counter. I know that wasn't me, it was folded different than how I would have folded it even. Unless I am sleepwalking and being a tidy person out of character in my sleep, then I have a unknown visiter every once in a while who likes things to be tidy.

[zayin]

HI linda, how are ya? I think it was my dreams about the cake. mmm I love dream cake sooo good. Its a really good sign though. Good things to come, maybe your life is sorting itself out!
Oh and did you you read that Carlos Castaneda book you mentioned his first one? I was thinking of getting it, not sure though, I ordered 4 of his other ones today, so now I will have 6 in total. I just love his stories so great. I think it is 'A Seperate Reality'. not sure. That funny about your tidy ghost...is he for hire? I sure need one.

[nani]

Im sending lots of love, good thoughts and healinglight too, Linda.
And endurance, cause this burdensome period will end, definitely!
I do wish some friends around you, I feel you are too much alone,
maybe you are rather a "single-fighter", but in certain times we can
try to ask for help or just some company, you would help too Im sure!
To your reply (24.8) I only can say, two people who lost their mind on
LSD were following my husband and me all over the world to blame
him for that, because he had seduced them once to take those drugs
with him - Linda, we couldnt help them much - and I refuse to believe
that my husband is responsible. I myself did a lot of things much less
innocent than you - and still I dont blame myself for that - I truly believe
that each soul plans to make several experiences. Whoever will be used
as "dogsbody" for this, just only could be considered as a "helper for full-
fillment" - but its the soul who has planned long time ago what tendentious
does have to happen for growth of learning. Each soul on its own has its
very own plan, we dont have the power to interfere with anything the other
soul didnt want or didnt need. We just only have to get along with our little
self, which definitely is enough to do I would dare to say. Love&Joy. lgn

[nani]

oh didnt see your and Incubus replies, I started several times to write but the heck did I write on one post 50 minutes agin, god lord, this has to change lol lgn

[crazycat]

zayin said:

HI linda, how are ya? I think it was my dreams about the cake. mmm I love dream cake sooo good. Its a really good sign though. Good things to come, maybe your life is sorting itself out!
Oh and did you you read that Carlos Castaneda book you mentioned his first one? I was thinking of getting it, not sure though, I ordered 4 of his other ones today, so now I will have 6 in total. I just love his stories so great. I think it is 'A Seperate Reality'. not sure. That funny about your tidy ghost...is he for hire? I sure need one.

I finished reading that book this morning, Incubus. It was all about when he first met Don Jaun and about his apprentiship, learning about how do all that stuff with the devil weed and mushrooms and all. It was interesting, all the stuff he had to go through to make and take those potions. I would have been too freak out on the first trip to go any farther with. I would rather just read about it I think. LOL1 I'm glad I got it and read it because I think I really would have been lost with this dream book without having any background knowledge of him. Thanks for recommending I go ahead and read that.

I didn't get to eat no dream cake. Maybe if it happens again, I'll get to eat some rather than freak out and wake up.

Thanks Nani, for sending the light and healing and all. Yea, I am alone too much. I guess I should get out there and get a job or join something to meet people. I just don't feel like I could handle anything else added right now, though.

[crazycat]

For Sat. 27th

I had insomnia so bad I didn't sleep any, none what so ever and here it is 10 minutes into Sunday and I'm still wide awake. I guess I need to go take something because this is getting ridiculous.

[crazycat]

I was still wide awake at one o'clock so I took a herbal pill for sleep and finally got sleepy enough around 2:30 am. It was storming really bad at that time and I mostly just tossed and turned and my little dog was making noise about 4 am and I thought he maybe needed to go out since he didn't get to at 2:30 because of the bad storm. I've been keeping a booby-trap on my door with tape every since my tidy ghost visit, just to make sure no one was coming into my house while I slept. The tape was undisturbed and my little dog didn't need to go out,so I don't no what the deal was, but by then I was wide awake again. I re-applied the tape and tried to sleep but couldn't so I got up and put a shockwave puzzle together hoping it would make me sleepy, but it did not, so I read a couple of chapters in one of my books. I was feeling really tired by about 7 am and went and laid down even though I still didn't feel sleepy, but I finally feel asleep and slept until about noon. I let my dog out again, but forgot to check the tape before opening the door ,so that was a useless cause. LOL! Better luck next time. ;D

I first dreamed about being way out in the country and there was a group of people camping out in this clearing along side the rode. I was talking to these people but I don't remember what we were talking about. I didn't feel like I was one of them,but only stopped and was chatting with them. There was a pasture/field across from them with a lot of cows. There was a break in the fence and a cow had just come running out that opening just as a car came by and the cow was hit. The weird part is I kept dreaming about the cow getting hit over and over about 4 or 5 times like a broken record.

Next I was dreaming I was in my home town where I grew up. I was about middle age and had not been there in many years. I was staying in a motel. I don't think they have a motel there in real time, but there was one there in my dream. It was early night and I knew the grocery stores would all be closed, but there was something I wanted and set out walking to see if there was a convenient store there. I walked by this gas/car repair place and they were open and I went in to ask if they had a c.store and to find out what street it was on. Earlier in the motel room I had read the newspaper and this place was needing a bookkeeper/cashier person and when I walked in the man for some reason thought I was there to apply for a job. I was telling him no and what the reason when this guy about age walked in and he looked familiar, like it was someone I should know. I asked him if he had alway lived there and told him that this was the town where I went to school. He said no I am from Wells and I lived with my Aunt there most of the time. He named his aunts named but I can't remember it now, but when he said that I knew who he was. He was a boy I had dated through out High school, but it was more like we were just really good friends. His aunt didn't like me, so he finally stopped asking me out any more. I was excited about seeing him again after all those years.

Through out different parts of this dream I kept getting a voice telling me something about conveying something. It didn't make much sense to me, so I think it was the same voice that interfered with my other dream about making a cake. The last time it was so irritating, because I just wanted to continue my visit with my friend, but the voice cause me to wake up again. I laid there and tried to go back to sleep so I could continue my dream visit, but I couldn't get back to sleep. Bummer!!!!

[zayin]

Hey Linda, I have the same problem trying to sleep, and I often find myself going to sleep at 7 am as well. I found the best thing to help are these healing chants. It was hard for me too start doing it as it sounded a little silly to me, but it is amazing how great they put me out. Even when I'm super hyper and full of juice...out I go in a whirl of nice energy.
lilacsky.proboards39.com/index.cgi?board=spirit&action=display&thread=1124080973
I know it will help if you try next time you find yourself frustratedly awake!

[crazycat]

I read the second chapter before trying to go to sleep.

I did the chanting Incubus, but I guess I must not have done it enough, because I read where Nani does her chanting for about 30 mins. I probably didn't do it but about 5 mins, or so. LOL! Didn't realize you were suppose to do it a lot. KellyBoy posted an exercise on the WB forum of chanting OM to active the third eye chakra. A day a so ago I had e-mailed and asked him how to do that because I had forgotten how it went and he's forgot how it went too. Anyways, while doing the chanting last night it brought back my memory of how Kellboys exercise went. In it you relax and take a deep breath and on the exhale you go OM slowly with your tongue to the top of your mouth or pushing against the upper teeth. You where suppose to do it three times. He had posted saying it gave him a headache to do it, so I tried and it gave me a headache as well. LOL! One day crazy me, I did it just about the whole time I was out walking (about 30 mins.) and ended up with a killer of a migraine headache. That's why I didn't think you were suppose to do it for very long. I have been interesting in vibration/frequency has a healing method. Looks like doing that would help in a persons healing process. I wonder why it was giving us such headaches. Would you know? Were we maybe doing something wrong?

I finally got to sleep this morning around 7 again, sleep until noon. The day goes by to dang fast when you don't get up until it's half over. Anyways, I do remember dreaming, but couldn't recall any of them upon awaking.

Oh yeah, I forgot. I thought it was interesting that Carlos talks about a dream of his about visiting his home town in this second chapter and just the night before I had a dream about my home town and it seems like several of you have had dreams posted here that had to do with your hometown, too.

Another coincidence I think.

[zayin]

Well from what I've experienced focusing too much on the third eye will build excess energy in the one centre. Often when I do third eye work I will also get a headache. I think it is very important to be balanced and not to try to force too much on one chakra. The roof of the mouth thing is great to do in a dream if you can remember, it will make you remember more in your dreams. I think it is in the art of dreaming guide, or journey to ixtlan, one or the other.
But what I would suggest is to do the chants with the differewnt vowel sounds like Ohh, Ahhh, Uuu, ext I do a Nnnn, and the Om. Basically I do them all and try to focus on my entire body. This will build energy throughout your body and allow excess energies to flow evenly and freely. If I do this long enough I go into vibrations and feel myself leaving my body. Hope that helps!

[nani]

Linda, about that OM-Chanting.
It is very important that you do NOT pressure or force anything, otherwise headache and more is guaranteed. Dont concentrate on any certain chakra - you want to get calm and sleep right?, you dont want (in this case) get up and have whatever exciting experiences lol. So the only thing which could be helpful to imagine is: while you breath out with the OM droning (foremost insidely), you can imagine that you let out all heavy, negative and stressed energy. You can imagine to let them out through the feet or through the back of you body which is touching the ground/bed. Whilst you breath-in you either imagine nothing or light, but the concentration should be absolutely on the Out-breath anyways. Also important, do little breaks in chanting and concentrated breathing, just stop for some breath`s to concentrate on anything and do nothing special, then continue, so the tension which may built up through just concentrating on something, even on let out and relax, can leave too. Make it as easy as possible. As soon as you feel something is wrong or tense - then stop - cause then there is something wrong. Finally you can not do any harm with that chant-meditation, just keep in mind that it is for relaxation mainly, beside the vibrations of the chant do clean and heal the inner organs. Keep me informed how it is going please. lgn

[crazycat]

Thanks Nani and Incubus, I'll have to try that tonight. I did muster up enough will power to go to the store today and I got a new supply of the herbal sleep pills. All I had last night and the night before was some L-Theane (sp?) pills which is very good in helping you to relax.

Aug. 30th
I did not get to sleep until about 7 am this morning and was woke up about 12:30 pm by the phone. Since I could not get sleepy, I listen to several medition tape and got some reading done. I finally got up enough courage to use my chakra medition tape again. I haven't used it since last fall, when it cause kundalini to be activated. It had a more positive effect this time. I woke up today feeling at peace, which hasn't been an experience of mine for many many months.

I remember dreaming, but only little bits. I probably could have remembered the last one if it had not of been for the phone ringing.

I meditated for an hour around 4 pm today and had a small OBE. The vibs became strong in heart chakra and I had the strange jerking sensation in the solar plexus chakra area. Then I was outside in my backyard at tree top level, floating. I notice a red bird setting there on a limb and I moved more into the tree to look at it closer up, but for some reason it got startled and few away. LOL! When it got startled, so did I and went back to by body. I continue meditating hoping to do it again and I got vibs a couple more time with the jerking sensation, but that was as far as it went.