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Post by nani on Oct 9, 2005 15:28:58 GMT -5
since a long time that I was in the void again, but different this (approx.5th) time, usually I just could stay there and "only" lol feel good, protected and embraced by divine energy.. so wonderful. Yesterday before sleep I was praying in a kind of new intensively way.. for earth, humans and all livings. I felt this sudden sinking down and directly got into this peaceful darkness, quite soon million of starlike things and then permeating strings moving fast appeared. I got a bit excited but told myself to stay calm, I remembered reading that the void is a good place to jump to obe, but in this moment I didnt care to try, because I had another thing in my mind arising from my prayer - healing. So I named my intension to be beyond earth, to see and work from there. There was no sensation to go somewhere, so it didnt feel like obeing, but also it was no dream, I was awake. Anyhow I was then (or stayed) in dark outer space and mother earth appeared clearly in front of my inner eyes. I then spread healing-light and energy around our earth, like a ring.. and then.. I sudenly realised that Im not alone, there were lots of beings or souls or what with me and we beings formed something like a second ring around our earth`s- healing-ring. I didnt have time or want so to say to get into contact to any of the others because I had to be very concentrated to keep my part/energy on the earth-ring. It was such a concentrated, peaceful and almost inconspicuous thing we did there.. it was wonderful. Surely you was there too. I dont know if my dream of the night before had something to do with that, but it was so funny: There was a kind of "emulate-love-race" by night. 2 people should get together make a couple, get on a big garbage-tonne and make love, lol. My partner was a quite old man (20 years older hmm), but he was so cool and funny, we took our hands and "worked" us up the large garbage-tonne and before we made love or what, I awoke, but anyways we yet were the winners we knew hehe, and we laughed sooo much.
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Post by existenceisadream on Oct 9, 2005 18:13:56 GMT -5
Wow Nani this sounds like it was a very great OBE! Plus to take this opportunity to do what you did like pray for the whole world and join forces to cast great healing energy upon it all is great. Much better than say doing something just to satisfy personal desires (though I have a feeling this is a personal desire to want the whole world to be healed of it's wounds) Congrats!! I'm sure you'll be able to get to this state of being more and more often as it will become more natural to you.
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Post by nani on Oct 10, 2005 12:18:21 GMT -5
Thank you existenceisadream, yes it was a wonderful experience.. but it wasnt an Obe though.. its a bit odd.. I still cant classify this sort of Void-experiences, its just not dreaming and also not obeing.. a kind of trance it feels like, but not like in meditation, much more awake and aware.. hmm just not yet able to really classify.. but anyways great.. thanks again for sharing this with me, lgn
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Post by nani on Oct 18, 2005 15:20:12 GMT -5
again before sleep I meditated on visualising our earth and all of us with a healing-ring, then felt asleep.
I awoke after around 4 hours and felt waves of vibrations and felt and heard all kind of special sounds, coming and going, I was not in the void this time, it was not the dark space I had "seen", in fact I could not see, but perceive and most important Hear. I could perceive and hear a lot of beings around our earth, where I also was, but rather "knew" that I was there also. This beings were very different from each other, their languages were totally different, some just used sounds, some used concrete (but mostly strange) words, like the first one I`ve heard when I so to say arrived. He (male) was screaming: "Yes!", but he was somehow not aggressiv but his temper was quite excited in a worried way. Many of the others were not like this, rather calm, but also debating with arguments, like I was hearing a word like "heritot" or something similar. But I was more an observer or maybe a sort of pupil, although I represented someone of this conference-like thing too. But I had a hard time understanding all the different languages, cause after each few-words-oration there was a kind of sound-delay added, which seemed to be an extra translation-effect, filled with the emotions and arguments of the speaker. In between the scene seemed to drift away, but I could consciously tune me over and over to stay "there" with those beings, which seemed to come from further of the galaxy, but still had tremendous care for our earth or the certain point of matter of discussion, which`s sense seemed too big for me to understand the whole. But the whole thing didnt give me a feeling of worry at all finally.
what can I say, was this a trance-like thing arosen from vibrations? I dont know, others are having OBEs, and I mostly do have this odd mix-what-experiences, which do confuse me afterwards a bit, although during the conference it was just all so normal, what and how it happened, the cause of worry and concerns of the doyen-like beings, just like a kind of normal galaxy-conference.
Later on I had a dream of a man I`d fallen in love with, but then he told me that he had 5 kids already (with 5 different women lol) and then I doubted if I want to get into love with him furthermore lol.
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Post by Blake on Oct 18, 2005 15:43:13 GMT -5
That sounds like a cool one. Yeah, some weird stuff can come out of the vib's. OBEs are the most common thing for me, but I've had some other weird experiences during the vibs and stuff.
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Post by nani on Oct 18, 2005 15:49:07 GMT -5
oh hey Blake nice to see you, oh and would you like to tell me some of these vibe-experiences you`ve had, Im really wondering, maybe it would help, if I would hear something similar. Have to catch up on a lot of stuff here, the next days will be better for me, great to seeya, lgn
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Post by Blake on Oct 18, 2005 18:47:12 GMT -5
Hey. No problem. I didn't work today or anything. Apparently I have the flu. That's what the Dr. told me. It's funny though, I don't feel the least bit sick. I could go lift or run if I wanted to. I just can't eat anything.
Well let's see... I have had a few weird things happen during the vib' state (besides OBEs). If you'll remember I spent a lot of time just investigating the energy associated with the vib' state as I find energy extremely interesting. A lot of times I used to just get into the vib state and stay in it and not even try to project, so I've had a lot of time in it for weird things to happen. On the other hand I have experienced very normal vib' states lasting up to over 30 minutes with no weird things happening what so ever. One day for example, that I had one of these marathon-vib' experiences I could hear actual noises outside my apartment and there was nothing the least bit dreamy or weird the whole time.
Other times... I've heard music for example. Kinda cool music but music I've never heard before, soft flowing music that sounded like it was coming from somewhere in my room. Another time I had a really strange experience. I highly doubt that anyone will be able to relate to this, and I don't even know what to think of it. I sat and listened to radio announcers and songs... I'd listen to entire songs and it was a real strong feeling. It felt like my head was conducting a radio station... like it had a hold of my head. Eventually it became too much for me to handle so I rolled out of body and the music slowly faded away. That was really really weird. I don't really think that you could get an idea just from reading about it... you'd have to expereince it. Let's see... I guess other times I've had just more normal things you'd hear about like noises... the hissing noise is something most people have probably heard about. I think that's normal. That's all I can really think of right now, I've heard a few other weird things, but my average vib' state is actually really normal. The time that I heard the soft music in my apartment was really interesting to me just because I wonder where it was coming from. I think that I didn't leave my body that day because it made me feel uneasy. That was early on in my expereinces when I was still getting used to things.
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Post by nani on Oct 19, 2005 19:13:03 GMT -5
very interesting, thanks for sharing all this Blake. About the music I`ve heard Lori speaking, she heard several times music, which she didnt know from this world, like you`ve described. I guess its just another dimension you`re connected to in this moment and state, this surely is an impressing and wonderful thing to hear and experience. You said also you could hear the noises outside your appartement in a special way, that also happened in my last thingy, it was parallel, listening and being at the conference and listening at the same time all the sounds of my real surrounding - thats in fact why I knew that Im not dreaming. Anyways after the vibes there is this certain kind of awareness which I only can describe as trance. And Blake though I can very much relate to the "radio-station" you talked about, this was one of my very first experiences, also in a kind of trance, after long meditation and after the vibes have started. I guess besides the term Dom, there are many many more mix-terms which could be created - and I guess we`ll find them out all, with the years huh, thats exciting and a real good reason to keep on rollin with the best intension. Again, thanks a lot, I`ll contemplate on your words further on, lgn
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Post by nani on Oct 19, 2005 19:32:23 GMT -5
finished 9th chapter: speaking also of anorganic beings which can appear disguised as offending parents. dream of snakes: I was in a friends house and suddenly a biiiiiig boa-constructa was passing my way while I left a room. I went "ohhhhhh" and immediately followed her - she was so beautiful so wonderful "painted", I`ve never seen this before. She had big ornaments and symbols of shining colours all over her body, I knew she was a shamanic-snake and something very holy and special - but then she disappeared. My mother was there too, but she was nerved and I was nerved and angry about her. (I first couldnt remember that part of the dream, but looked into my dream-book now) So I went away from her, walking into another room. Got into another room and on a little balcony-thing which was beside a water-basin full of dirty water.. aaand iiiiiiaaaaaaabrrr.. with millions of little dirty snakes in it. Arrrrghbrrrrr I wanted to get away, but before I could get away, two of this dirty snakes were jumping into my face, biting me into my both cheeks and remaining there sucking.. aeh if I only remember it shakes me.. it was sooo disgustingly brrr.. I ripped them off my cheeks and went out of the room. (thats how I remebered it, but when I`vè read my book again, it said that a man told me how to get them off in just keeping calmty and serenity).
Thoughts: I dont know what to think about the anorganic-beings disguising into parents in trying to get what they want (something bad?), but what I surely know now is, that me and my mother we had a problem rising stronger and stronger, and today was the first day when I was relaxed again and found a way to deal much better and much more lovely with the problem we have. Also snakes usually symbolise the libido and kundalini, the psychic- as well as the sexual energy. And what I`ve just heard makes a lot of sense too, namely that the dirty snakes may represent my "little inner negs" which I just have to tame and overcome to get (back) to my holy, great shamanic inner (snake) energy.
Cool lively dreams again.
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Post by crazycat on Oct 20, 2005 16:24:09 GMT -5
Wow Nani, I see your snake dream as really something great taking place. I decide to see what my dream book had to say and I'm glad I did, because it puts a new light on your expeience even the two snakes biting your cheeks is a very good thing. Dreaming of snakes in general symbolizes great power indicating change, renewal and transformation. Jung considered the snake to represent a potent archetype of psychic energy, power, dynamism, instinctual drive and the entire process of psychic and spiritual transformation. The snake may indicate a transformation process already underway, but often calls attention to the need to move to a new level of consciousness.The dreamer may fear it, as they may fear change itself, but the snake must be seen as a positive sign and not a negative one. Even a snake bite in a dream can be positively interpreted as being "bitten" by a new awareness.
Snake bite: Initiation, penetration by a content. A snake bite dream is the equivalent of an injection administered by a doctor: one is forcibly administered a substance that will bring about some kind of healing or new spiritual awareness. To be stalked or pursued by a snake intent on biting indicates that the unconscious is attempting to bring something into waking awareness.
And that beautiful large snake, could that have been your power animal/guide?
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Post by nani on Oct 21, 2005 11:08:50 GMT -5
aww wow Linda, that is very nice of you to look.. you must have known that though the little dark snakes do make me worry a bit still huh ! :-) Thank you for your great news on this, this truly helps.
Theres left a little little doubt though, cause whenever I dream of little animals biting me then something refering to my health isnt so good. Next week Im gone have an anylysis, cause I guess (not from the dream, but from the pain lol) that I got that heckn` helicobacter-virus again (many have it passively and its responsible for stomach-ulcer, which I`ve had 3 times) , but anyways no big deal then if, but the main thing is that I dont like to go to the doctor because I think they do find something else, you`re right by thinking now that I must be a hypochondric.. hahaha.. yes I am! So I dont let them look into my blood, cause surely thats full of millions of worms LOL, so they are only allowed to test through my breath, if they find that virus, hey Im a bit crazy no yes Lol ?! So thanks A LOT for that nice and positive interpretation Linda, love_growth, Nani
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Post by crazycat on Oct 22, 2005 2:06:04 GMT -5
That's interesting Nani. I decided to see what my dream books say about an animal bite. Being bite by an animal/person can be either an expression of, orfearof,anger. If there's fear in the dream look for hidden anger; if there's anger, look for hidden fear. It can also mean the person is infected with some idea/attitude that's unhealthy/toxic.
Your mentioning animal bite caused a dream last night to be intantly recalled just now. I'll go post it in my section.
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Post by nani on Oct 23, 2005 17:06:00 GMT -5
Linda, thanks again, yes this is a good way to look at it, sounds reasonable. Even if I would have in real a hidden desease inside of me, then still first my ideas/attitudes would have been the reason for such a thing, and I first should work on such things, than giving power to my inner hypochondric-forces. I think I even do know yet what this is refered to, cause the fear and anger I feel are refered to my mother quite clearly. Over and over its really difficult between us, Im the only daughter (2 brothers) and so all her expectations of hope/healing and care are thrown at me and I dont know anymore after 6 years how I can be fair and be helpful for her, but at the same time get a bit more independence for Each of us. I feel very sorry for her, cause she had a hard life the last 6 years, sick and left by her man, but I can not replace him. Its exhausting to always think about if Im doing things right or not, since weeks Im only hearing that Im not doing enough, or not right. I get ear-pain (I think its psychosomatic) when Im more than 3 hours at her flat. The last 6 years I was 4-6 days a week at her house, I was there with my whole heart, now since some weeks Im only 2 days a week there, because I was sick myself quite often and just dont have the energy to do more. She is not alone, living in my brothers house and having every day a woman coming 3 hours, but she just doesnt like to go anywhere anymore, which physically she could said the doctor, but she wants just only us children, especially me, coming to her. I have wished and worked so much on getting groups for her, where she would meet people who are in the same situation, where she could talk with them and release her broken heart and disappointment about life, Im there for her too of course, but I feel that I can not bear the whole thing alone. In my and the doctors eyes she has depressions, but she herself doesnt think she has. It was difficult to get her a date at a psychotherapist, just for talking first, but she (although she wanted) just didnt get up at the right time and missed the date, which one needs 3 month for to get a date, now we got a second chance in November, but maybe again she finds a reason to not go there. I dont know how to explain, but it just feels as if she would reject any help, finally of anybody. I dont know if you can understand me, I just feel totally helpless to help her, I love her of course, but I found out that being there for her didnt and wouldnt truly help her to get out of her shell, and on top for some reason I dont have the same energy like last year. Linda, thank you for listening, for a mother this is not easy to listen to, I know.. I may delete this post after a while, lgn
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Post by crazycat on Oct 23, 2005 23:48:01 GMT -5
Nani, I understand. I love my mom, but if I had to be there all the time for her, I just don't think I could do it. I thank God everyday day for my sister-in-law. She says she doesn't mind taking care of her.
Nani, hopefully your mom will keep her appointment this time and get the help she needs. Maybe just keep with the one or two visits a week and a few short phone calls other days to check up on her. Your right, you can't replace her man. And it isn't right that you should give up so much of your time to sedate her loneliness. As long as you are doing it she won't reach out for others for friendship. I think you should stay firm with you decision to visit less often which should eventually force her to get involved with other people or at least she will get use to you not being there every single day. If so much visiting is making you sick, then it can't be the right thing to be doing.
Anyways, that is the way I see it. Your are just going to have to make her understand that you have to have some of your free time for yourself.
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Post by nani on Oct 24, 2005 3:36:38 GMT -5
Linda thank you so much for understanding me and giving me the feeling that Im not only thinking egoistic. I know that now its my turn to give back to her what all she has given to me, and believe me it was more than a "childs-job" for me, it was and still is my personal passion and a spiritual task.. before born I surely must have choosed exactly her to learn my lessons. My lessons of to give, and I guess also my lessons of to put borders - just to learn to differenciate. Its just that it is difficult for me to put borders and to trust the signals of my body or intuititions. Lots of thanks to you again, my friend, lgn
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Post by crazycat on Oct 24, 2005 6:11:01 GMT -5
Nani, when we allow others to control and manipulate us by making us feel guilty, to give in to their manipulations, does more harm than good for both parties envolved.
Actually, your not alone in that lesson, for that is what my daughter is trying to do with me. For she is doing just that, trying to control me by making me feel guilty for not being the perfect mother. She even tried to pull that on me when she didn't get her way when she was a small child and she is still trying to control me with the same techniques. Well, I got news for her. No one is ever the perfect mother and I'm sure she will learn that lesson sooner or later. Whether I'm here or on the other side, I'm going to be grinning ear to ear when that precious baby of her's teaches her that lesson. Hehe!
Don't you just love relationships? ;D
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Post by nani on Oct 24, 2005 10:01:34 GMT -5
oh hey how I love the sound of your post.. it sounds such integer and balanced.. really cool and encouraging, yeah I guess sometimes we need to develop a bit of a "mental warrior" to dont let us be weakened or pulled asunder within by our own inner guilt-mechanism, be it acitvated by ourselfs or someone else. You got very wise Linda, Im happy you are sharing this with me, lgn
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Post by crazycat on Oct 24, 2005 14:45:46 GMT -5
Hehe, did you notice I was up all night. I could not get us off my mind and every time I tried to go to bed I kept getting insights and I lost count how many times I got back up and added to these post.
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Post by nani on Oct 26, 2005 16:29:41 GMT -5
26.10.05 meditation and request before sleep-
dream: Im on my own walking around somewhere in the city. I see a kind of ball flying through the air and when the ball "perceives" me it comes towards me and starts attacking me over and over, but still it seems a kind of playful. But I realize that it has got electricity or a certain energy which could be dangerous too, so more and more I try to defend myself and get rid of the ball, which keeps on attacking me, trying to hit and touch me for a longer time, so I get a kind of burned. Then a man passes by and I know that they belong together, that the man so to say is the owner of the ball. But the man is nice and suddenly converts into someone I know. We feel a strong attraction to each other and try to make love, but finally cant and dont do so, which is a kind of frustrating, but still our exchange, which takes a long time, is fond and full of love and longing.
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Post by nani on Oct 29, 2005 17:40:41 GMT -5
30.10.05 nothing special going on at my dreams at the moment.. but tomorrow night is my AoD reading night, so probably then I`ll have more exciting stuff again to tell.
just one funny dreams of the last days was: Im sitting with our `Bundeskanzler SChroeder`at a table in a restaurant. Im taking his hand into my both hands and trying to comfort him (that he has lost the election). He is touched by my words and gesture, but then wonders.. and me too.. cause He and I realize that Im totally drunk.... lol
looking forward that Gav, Kirsty and Jo are back soon, yeah !!!
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